Serena Kelley

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An Ultrasound on myself

Got an ultrasound on myself for a physical. Here’s what happened after

I had a physical exam today and at first I walked in definitely not looking forward to it. As someone who prefers to trust my body to its own healing and not resort immediately to modern medicine, I came in with all these preconceived ideas of what my experience would be.

Instead, it ended up being nothing like what I had anticipated.

When I laid down having an ultrasound on myself, I listened to my own heartbeat. I watched on the gray screen my organs teeming with life inside my body, my blood pulse on the screen, and my arteries working perfectly, all communicating this information to my brain waves.

Watching this, in live time, something I take for granted every single day, I was immediately overcome with emotion and gratitude for this incredible body I was given.

While yes, I experienced minor health issues that hampered my travel plans, I’m so grateful for the treatment I’m getting and the way my body is healing. What a gift to be able to walk without worrying about breathing, to use my legs for transportation, my back for bending, lifting, turning, my arms for holding and to be able to sleep well, trusting my heart will keep pumping away while I’m not even conscious.

I found myself so grateful to be a woman and experience everything that it means. For my monthly cycle that lets me know my body is healthy and able to bring life into this world if I wanted. For the health I did have and the clear signals my body gives me when something is not right.

Rather than being annoyed, treating my body like a terrible inconvenience as I did in my 20s and early 30s, now every month I’m so thankful to see that my body is cycling as it should. What a blessing to bleed and not die. What an incredible gift of life and power. And what a blessing to be so in tune with my body that I can wake up, and know right away something isn’t right because one of my functions is not working in the way I’m used to.

This small experience today allowed me to connect deeper with my body in so much gratitude for her existence. I reminded me to treat her with so much more care and respect than before. To honor it, feed it good foods, make sure it’s getting proper movement and exercise, that my brain is functioning and being challenged.

It also reminded me how much more I should celebrate my body, rather than wait for something terrible to happen, then celebrate when my body crawls itself out of its predicament.

Rather than celebrating a new baby’s heartbeat, I’m going to celebrate my own, each and every day from now on.