What I wish I could tell my younger self

Looking back on why I spent so much time worrying about completely useless things

There are so many things I wish I could tell my younger self. The wounded child. Shy, introverted, scared, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually abused. The child bullied for her looks, a tall skinny white girl in the land of curvaceous Latinas in Central and South America. Who grew up thinking she was ugly, told she looked like a boy, so acted like a boy. Whose friends scrawled on the back of her shirt "Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?"

I wish I could tell my younger self it'll all be ok. Like, seriously. It’ll be ok. You’re learn that you’re worthy of love and respect. Also, you were never ugly, you just needed to believe you were beautiful, and fuck whatever others say, for real. Confidence will be your greatest accessory and no one will make you feel inferior without your consent. You will love every part of yourself, and from that love, you will learn to love others.

But seriously little Serena, you were never ugly! Just because people made you feel that way does not make it true. Don’t take everything and everyone so seriously. Also you’ll be naked a lot in your older life so chill out with the body issues. It’s all. In. Your. Head.

Who else wishes they could go back and tell themselves a simple message like this? I tell my inner child this all the time. When those seeds of doubt and comparison creep in, return to yourself, you source. It does not have to be hard. You don't need tapping and journaling and pure diets and meditation. Acknowledge the thoughts with compassion, then remind yourself feelings don't make it true. Just because someone said something or made you feel a certain way does not make it so. Fuck them all.

Then go take all the naked photos of yourself that you want.

The Art of Meditation - What stood out to me

I recently read The Art of Meditation, and there were several things that stood out to me from this book. One, if had a very clear, concise way of how to stay in the moment, or in the present, something I touched on in one of my previous posts.

I mentioned how the words “living for now” or “staying present” almost have no meaning right now as they are such buzzwords. People use them, but no one really tells you HOW. Well, the Art of Meditation did exactly that, and in a few sentences, not a full blog post like I did earlier.

Below are some of the key standout phrases from the book which continue to impress upon me and I hope they will be of value to you too.

“There’s no time you’ve wasted or lost. There’s only this moment, and it’s complete within itself.

Go beyond accepting and forgiving yourself. Love yourself profoundly, but not the idea of yourself with all its vanity. Love the essence of who you are, which is the essence of every single one of us.

Learn to let go, trust, and learn the essence of it.

There is nothing more to add.”

Are there any books or phrases, quotes, etc you’ve heard on staying present or in the moment that really resonated with you? If so let me know in the comments below!

Living for now...what does that even mean?

Breaking down the concept of living in the moment.

There is a passge I read from The Art of Self Love, which has always stuck with me.

“There is no time wasted or lost. There’s only this moment, and its complete within itself.

Go beyond accepting and forgiving yourself. Love yourself profoundly, but not the idea of yourself with all its vanity. Love the essence of who you are, which is the essence of every single one of us.

Learn to let go, trust, and learn the essence of it.

There’s nothing more to add.”

I love this poem and ruminated on it for awhile. At the time hen I read it, I had no idea what self love was or what “living in moment” was. Since then, I’ve built on this thought little by little, to where I think I can explain it much better for others now.

Living in the moment…what is it?

I guess you could also call this mindfulness or being present, or what I like to refer as, “just being”. It refers to the practice of fully engaging with and experiencing the present moment without being distracted by thoughts about the past or future. Without distractions about what you will say in this conversation, or what you should have said in that conversation. It involves being aware of and fully immersed in the current sensations, thoughts, and emotions without judgment or attachment.

Living in the moment entails directing your attention to the present without dwelling on regrets from the past or anxieties about the future. It means acknowledging and accepting your current circumstances, experiences, and feelings, whether positive or negative, without trying to change or control them. Instead of being preoccupied with what has happened or what might happen, you focus on what is happening right now. Essentially, you become neutral to your past experiences and thoughts. You choose only perfection, you choose only love, and you chose only being.

By cultivating mindfulness and living in the moment, you can develop a greater sense of self-awareness, mental clarity, and emotional balance. It allows you to fully appreciate and enjoy the simple pleasures of life, engage more deeply in your relationships, and savor the richness of each experience.

See that tree you’re passing? Look at those vibrant colors! Or that adorable child waving at you. Or look at that cute old couple, still just as in love as the day they met 50 years ago. When you start living in the moment you start appreciating everything around you and realizing that everything in life can be beautiful, if you choose to see it.

Living in the moment doesn't mean disregarding or neglecting your future goals or responsibilities. It means finding a balance between planning for the future and being fully present in the present. It encourages you to make conscious choices and take deliberate actions in alignment with your long-term aspirations while still fully immersing yourself in the present moment.

Practicing mindfulness techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply paying attention to your senses out in nature can help you develop the ability to live in the moment and experience a deeper connection with yourself and the world around you.

My favorite is walking in nature, barefoot, looking at flowers and appreciating the colors all around you. Being in silence with yourself, removing all outside distractions like your phone, other people’s voices, listening to podcasts, anything. Getting back to your core and enjoying being with you.

If you haven’t tried living the moment, try it today. Take a walk in nature. Go barefoot, without your phone or earbuds. Listen to the sounds in nature. The birds, the bugs, the wind. Everything is perfect. Nature is perfect, unspoiled, exactly as it was meant to be. That’s how we are. We just need to remember it and get back to our true selves and our core, where there is nothing left but perfection.

When is it the right time to speak up?

How to know if you should speak up when others tell you to, or when you feel like it

Recently I took some time off social media recently, to connect with myself, be present and alone to contemplate what I want to accomplish & who I want to be in this year.

I didn't make any grand announcement about going offline because, let's be honest, we're so wrapped up in our own stories and portrayal of how we come across online that do we even notice when someone is offline for a week? 😆😂

This break is something I will be doing monthly as I always treat Social Media differently after--more aware of the time I spend scrolling & the content I'm consuming.

I heard of a lot of things going on in Social Media while I was off. Riots, protests, more political drama, dare I say…the usual fear mongering crap. I saw yet again, many friends divided. People saying you should speak up and say something about this particular issue that is close to their hearts, but then when another issue happened that was just a serious, they didn’t say a word. Because…it was not an important issue to them.

This made me think of the contradictions so many of us get wrapped up in. People getting so up in arms about a topic in social media, yet quiet about others. When you’re an observer in these crazy times, it’s really incredible to see how similar both sides are, and how each side is essentially accusing the other of the exact same thing, just in a different way.

The bottom line is, no one should be pressured to speak up about anything. If it feels true to you, and something that is important to you, then by all means, speak up. But do not expect everyone else to jump on your soapbox. And definitely do not threaten your friends and family or shame them into speaking up as well! It’s incredible that in 2023 this is still happening. Haven’t we learned anything from 2020 and 2021?

I will give you an example from my own life:

My personal life and spiritual practice is very important and private to me. It’s something share with a few people, but really no more than 2 or 3. I used to feel pressured to share everything on social media like others did, but it never felt authentic to me. What happened was a blabbering mess of words coming out and very inauthentic claims and stories, that now looking back I cringe at. And deleted. It was never me, and I should have never been swayed or pushed into sharing things I was going through when I was not ready.

In the past year I've learned so much more about who I am, what I'm about, what I'm comfortable sharing and not sharing. My life in general is very public, so having some privacy is important. This includes things I’m going through, my spiritual practice, and personal life. And I will certainly not speak out on political topics just because everyone else is.

Remember that you should never feel pressured to share things or "speak up" because others are. That's their choice, not yours. It doesn't matter what others are talking about or the memes you see (if you're not x then you're x) ✋. Follow your intuition, share what is meaningful and feels good to you. Don't let others shame or force you into anything different. This was the biggest realization (and relief) for me in the past year and I hope it helps you too.

Thank you all for your support and follows! Here's to another beautiful year of ups, downs, heart healing, heart breaks, adventures, stability, growth, and rest, as we continue to evolve into the souls we're meant to be. 💜🧚✨

The sacred site of Big Horn Medicine Wheel

My experience visiting one of the most sacred sites in the USA

On my last day in Wyoming was I able to visit the Big Horn Medicine wheel, an ancient Native American spiritual site where tribal ceremonial activity continues to this day. In fact, when I arrived a Sundance was going on at the site, so us non-Native Americans waited respectfully at the bottom of the hill until the ceremony was complete.

The Medicine Wheel has been a National Historic Landmark since 1970 due to its unique scientific research values. It's surrounded by 4,080 protected acres, used only for Native American cultures and practices.

The Bighorn Medicine Wheel is one of the largest and best preserved on the northern and northwestern Plains. It was the first medicine wheel to be mentioned in popular literature and the first to be studied by the professional scientific community.

Archeologists generally believe that the Medicine Wheel is a late prehistoric composite feature. A wood sample from one of the cairns at the site was dated to approximately 1760 A.D. by means of tree-ring dating. There are bone fragments, jewelry and fabric that have been left there over the centuries.

When I entered the site I was immediately overcome by the sacred space and the incredible ancestry and spirits that inhabited the land. Many leaders of various Native American tribes go there to pay to their respects to their ancestors, work with energy and connect to the earth. I definitely felt that being there.

I also met a man there who had traveled from across the country to bring gifts to the site from other Native American tribes that could not make the journey. It was incredible to know that while this Medicine Wheel may not be known to everyone, it certainly is throughout the tribes, and I’m so glad it’s preserved as a sacred space for those whose families have roamed the land so much longer than any of us.

It was an incredible honor to visit this sacred place and pay my respects to the spirits of this land, the people and culture whose lives were forever altered when the Pilgrims set foot here.

What is the deal with "letting go"?

Breaking down the art of letting go…and why it’s so misinterpreted

Throughout my healing process I came across a lot of words, quotes, coaches, spiritual teachers, etc, talk about the importance of "letting go", and if you don't, then you have "resistance" to it. Hell, I even started talking about letting go before I fully understood the concept.

Here's why the term “letting go” immediately triggers you and turns people off when used by others as spiritual bypassing or by those who do not know how to truly implement it.

Letting go is hard for anyone who has experienced trauma. Their whole life has been out of control, why would they let go again? When you tell a trauma survivor to let go, that is probably the worst thing you can do, as you're telling them to let go of everything they worked to get HOLD OF in their recovery. 

Letting go is hard if you've grown up with a strict religion and the idea of a scary god. Or if you've let go and put your trust in others before, such as those in power, and it backfired. For these and other reasons, using the term letting go is meaningless.

So what is letting go, really? There are many forms, but I am speaking of challenges in life, the spiritual practice of appropriate action, when you choose next steps for a specific situation. 

Letting go is trusting that you are supported by something greater than yourself. That you will find the courage to act at the right time, but not be attached to any outcome or demand a specific result. Letting go does not mean letting go of life, from now to infinity, floating around in time and space. No. It simply means you trust you are protected and guided, just enough to put one foot in front of the other. You do not need clarity on what to do, only that you will do whatever it takes to care for yourself first.

This is how we live in peace, in flow, and in harmony with ourselves and our intuition. But, how do we get there? How do you safely let go? What is the process? In my 39 years of life, I've never had someone explain it clearly until I came across Linda Howe, who provides such a simple method that I cannot believe no one has articulated this before. 

Linda explains that the safest way to practice the art of letting go is to put your trust in something dependable first. This could be anything from the cycles of the moon, the power that causes seeds to sprout, planets in orbit, the sun to rise, your vital organs working. This is something tangible, and something reliable. 

You do not have to put your trust in a higher power or The Divine, it has nothing to do with spirituality, it just has to be meaningful to you. Think about what that is. Waves crashing on a beach? Birds flying in the sky? Literally anything that is a constant in your life, and when you think about it, there are many. It's possible to let go into something you trust. 

When you find that constant, then begin to relax into the idea that there is a power for good at work in your life, and you can trust it without a second thought. Learn to trust what you can see, before trusting what you can't see. This is the safest way for your nervous system to begin to relax. Then, only then, can you start to let go. Eventually, you won’t have to keep letting go, because you’ll always be in flow, you won’t be swimming upstream, pushing through, and white knuckling it through life. You will just be.

Then, you can start all that other spiritual stuff. Try it, and see how it works for you.