There’s something truly enchanting about horses, something that transcends mere words and touches the deepest corners of our souls. They possess a unique kind of magic that fills our hearts with wonder and awe.
🐎 Horses are more than just graceful animals; they are empathetic beings, capable of forging a connection that goes beyond human understanding. Whenever I find myself in their presence, an indescribable sense of peace washes over me. They are the call to any storm.
Throughout history, horses have been revered as symbols of strength, freedom, and spiritual connection. Their presence exudes a kind of ethereal beauty that effortlessly captivates anyone lucky enough to witness it. They are the embodiment of grace, power, and resilience, teaching us valuable lessons about life and ourselves along the way.
Beyond their physical allure, horses possess an incredible ability to heal. Their nonjudgmental nature and unwavering acceptance create a safe space where we can truly be ourselves. When you’re around them time slows down, worries fade away and you find solace and serenity from the chaos of everyday life. This is why I chose to volunteer at an equine mental health facility and pursuit certifications in equine mental health facilitation.
My love for horses runs deep, all the way from childhood in Brazil. They were an escape from me during extremely hard times and will forever hold a special place in my heart. They taught me patience, perseverance, and the importance of trust. Through them I’ve learned to embrace vulnerability, listen with my heart, and communicate beyond words. Horses are not only companions but soulmates, connecting with me on a level that words alone cannot express.
This horse is Bella and she lives in . I spent every day with her for hours when visited her ranch, in her presence during my cross country trip. Her demeanor and love for connection was unparalleled, and I have never met a horse like her since.
Let their presence remind you of beauty and peace in the world.
How dance reconnects you to your body
Healing through movement - part 2
Healing from sexual trauma requires not only conscious but subconscious efforts, if you want truly break out of the self-imposed prison your brain put you in to protect you.
When we experience sexual trauma, our brain dissociates. This enables us to not only “deal” with the trauma, but disconnect so we don’t fully experience the horror of what our bodies experience.
The problem is, we stay dissociated & become completely disconnected to ourselves and bodies. We don’t fully feel anything anymore…joy, sorrow, excitement, pain. You don’t know how to be truly alive as you are not fully there, in your conscious mind and body.
What helped me get to a place of being comfortable back in my body and sexuality, was movement. This can look different to each person, but for me it was dancing. In my 20s I spent most of the decade dancing away in clubs. While this was not the healthiest way to move emotions through my body, it was what worked for me at the time. I credit it as actually being a big source of healing & reacquaintance to my body, and for this I’ll never be ashamed of it.
These days I often practice hip movements like this. Grounding, isolated moves focused on the pelvic region. Why? It helps get in touch with the parts of your body you’ve ignored because they’ve been violated. It reconnects you to the discarded parts of yourself that were too painful to take notice of before. That’s where dancing comes in. With the reconnection of our bodies with movement…you can heal.
Healing is work, yes, but it doesn’t have to be terrifying, sad and serious all the time. It can be fun, exciting, new, and different. Just approach it like a curious child and think “what can I try today that I haven’t before?” Then go do it!
Other forms of movement for healing include:
- Walking
- Running
- Stretching
- Horseback riding
- Swimming
- Yoga
- Rock climbing
- Biking
- Hiking.. And more!
I want to know… what movement worked for when you were going through something? Comment below!
#mysereneearth #traumarecovery #traumainformed #mypathtohealing #childrenofgod #traumahealing #childrenofgodcult #marydear #dancetherapy #danceitout #dancevibes #movetoheal
Healing through movement
A huge part of my healing process was movement. Sure you can talk to a therapist and cry and grieve but in order to fully heal, to fully move past trauma, you need to release the old, stuck energy in your body that is holding you back and making you sick.
And…It doesn’t have to be a sad, serious process. I wish I would have found that out sooner.
Movement in any form is important to keep the chi, our bodily life force, flowing through us freely. I often just jump and shake after an unpleasant incident just to get the negative energy out of me. We are physical beings and we need to physically shake that shit off!
Also…It keeps you looking and feeling young 🧚♀️🙌✨
So…let’s get physical!!
#mysereneearth #traumarecovery #traumainformed #mypathtohealing #childrenofgod #thechildrenofgod #childrenofgodcult #thefamilyinternational #marydear #dancetherapy #releasestuckenergy #lifeforce
Here's what helped me heal from trauma
Healing from traumatic events comes in many forms. First you acknowledge that you need to heal, then you begin the process. The good news is that it's not all sorrow and pain and grief. While that is a huge part, what comes after is the joy of beginning again, experiencing life with new meaning, learning who you really are, what you love and what lights you up. This is what this video is all about.
2019 and 2020 were two of the hardest yet most transformative of my life. It helped me create the life I have today, a life I truly I love. 💛💜
#traumarecovery #mysereneearth #freedom #traumahealing #traumainformed #peacebeginswithme #justbreatheletitgo
Why horses are the best therapists
Reminiscing on my time at Healing with Horses Equine Mental Health Ranch, and the incredible lessons Caesar, the oldest horse on the ranch taught me before his death
During my 17 month stint back in Austin, I worked at horse ranch for equine mental health. First experiencing the work as a client then again as a volunteer and then as an equine mental health specialist, I was immediately hooked to the incredible healing power these amazing animals have.
Horses are some of the most empathic creatures on the planet. Not only can then sense you coming a mile away, but they can also feel your heart, can sense your breathing, and can tell the type of state you are in. Because of this, horses will often mirror their behavior on the outside, as what’s going on with you on the inside.
We may have seen horses bit, nip, buck, or run away from people, perhaps in movies, documentaries, or real life scenarios. What is really happening has nothing to do with the horse, but everything to do with you. Horses force you to slow down, take a breath, examine and understand the feelings that are coming up inside you, which then allows you to reassess your own behaviors and thoughts (which usually not at all what you think they were at first)
Such was the case with Ceasar, a 28 year old 2000 pound Belgian draft horse who had been doing therapy work for 20 years. He was one of the first horses I met back in summer of 2022 and one of the ones that made me realize how special and valuable this equine therapy is for people.
From the first moments of meeting Caesar, I knew he was special. Not only was he huge, but he was gentle, had a big personality, and knew he was king of the ranch. He would often come say hi to me and rub his nose into my chest, much like he’s doing in the above photo.
There was one instance with Caesar that changed everything. We were doing a breathing exercise in the arena together with several other students and volunteers. This was perhaps the 4th or 5th time I’d met Caesar. He began following me around the arena, and I began walking further away so as to give him space.
What ended up happening was that the more I retreated, the more he advanced, until I was up against a fence with him in front of me.
The most incredible Equine Assistant Amanda, came up to me and asked if I felt safe. Even though I was laughing it off, I had to admit to myself that no, I didn’t truly feel safe with a 2,000 pound horse pinning me against a fence.
Amanda asked why I thought I was in that position.
I told her that I kept leaving to give him space. But he kept coming.
She asked me where else in life I’d often do that. Abandon myself, leave, to allow space for others, rather than standing my ground.
Immediately a lightbulb went off. I’m a true flight person in trauma. I will leave when the going gets tough. or I will abandon myself to give others “space”. Immediately I knew that I was playing small, allowing others to walk all over me instead of stand my ground.
Amanda then gave me an exercise to stand my ground, make myself big, and be able to get this massive horse to back up for me. Just by me changing my stance, changing my energy and using simple arm movements. I got Caesar to back up, giving me space.
The next time walked back up to me, I didn’t budget. I stood my ground and when he got too close in my space, I moved my arms and stepped into his so he would back up.
That was the last time Caesar was ever in my space.
The next time I saw him, he greeted me like an old friend, the mutual respect felt by us both. Then he followed me around the ranch as I led him to his pen, his stall, then back again.
This horse was my greatest teach in 2022. Caesar taught me so much about myself, about standing my ground, about boundaries, confidence, mindfulness, trust, ease, letting go, and joy, in the short time I knew him.
At the end of December, 2022, Caesar had to be put down due to deteriorating health issues with old age.
As such, Caesar also taught me the importance of grief and letting go, and he still continues to teach me incredible lessons on life, survival, kindness, and compassion, far beyond his death.
I know there will never be another gentle giant like him.
I’ll always be grateful for the time we spent together and the many healing moments Caesar gave me while he was alive. What an incredible life he led and what an amazing healer for so many people. Horses truly are the best therapists.
If you want to know more about equine therapy for mental health, please send me a message. It’s one of the simplest yet most healing modalities I’ve ever experienced in my life compared to many techniques I’ve experimented with on my path to healing. And this is saying a lot because I have literally done it all. You name it, 100% I have tried it.
Cheers to you, Ceasar and congrats on a life well lived.
What growing up in a sex cult taught me - Pt 2
Chosen family vs. blood family…what can we learn?
A peaceful walk in the seaside town of Cascais, Portugal
Your chosen family teaches you about love and care. Your blood family teaches you patience and forgiveness.
With yet another interview out about me, I’ve often been asked about the relationship with my parents.
To be honest, I never had a relationship with them. They did not raise me, and they were strangers to me as a child. They were also terrible parents and highly abusive. But they taught me valuable lessons about myself and the type of person I want to be.
My parents are my greatest teachers. They taught me strength, adversity, empathy, compassion, kindness, vulnerability, authenticity, truthfulness, resilience, independence, and so much more. But most of all they taught me forgiveness and patience. Forgiveness to be able to set myself free from the terrible abuses of my childhood. Patience to allow them to show up as the people they are and understand that they will not change unless they want to. This is what my blood family has taught me.
My chosen family, however, taught me respect, camaraderie, community, confidence, sisterhood, support, overcoming, joy, friendship, trust, loyalty, communication, love, and care. They taught me what it means to have a true bond as either a friend, a partner, or mentor. From them I learned what healthy, loving, caring relationships looks like in the way they show up in the world for their own family, their friends, and me.
Without true love, without knowing someone cares, what do we have? All we want is to be seen, heard, love, excepted, and respected. Without that we have nothing.
So I want to thank both my blood family and my chosen family for teaching me so much about life, about what it means to be human and providing me with so many valuable experiences and opportunities to learn and grow in this lifetime. It’s because of both my blood family and my chosen family that I am a better person today than I was just a year ago.
I’m thankful for the pain and suffering I’ve felt through life because each time I refuse to let it bring me down, even though many times I wasn’t sure if I’d pull through. But I know that I can either allow the pain to help me grow and evolve, or I can wallow in it and sit around waiting for someone to save me.
There was an interesting question I heard yesterday on The Diary of a CEO. And that was, if you had the ability to remove pain from life forever, would you? It took me awhile to ponder this question as with pain comes so much other stuff. Sickness, heartbreak, disease, mental issues, and more. So could I remove those as well?
i came to the conclusion similar to the interviewer. Which is that without pain, I don’t think we’d truly appreciate the joy. It would just be. We would probably go through life a bit numb, because everything is pain free. You must be alive to feel pain, and joy. That’s the balance of life. If I didn’t feel pain or suffering, I wouldn’t be alive. And I truly feel alive.
So thank you to my parents and the cult for teaching me about pain, teaching me about kindness, teaching me about healing. While I may not have wanted those lessons, I feel blessed that I was able to turn them into something valuable and beautiful, and for that I am grateful.