There’s something truly enchanting about horses, something that transcends mere words and touches the deepest corners of our souls. They possess a unique kind of magic that fills our hearts with wonder and awe.
🐎 Horses are more than just graceful animals; they are empathetic beings, capable of forging a connection that goes beyond human understanding. Whenever I find myself in their presence, an indescribable sense of peace washes over me. They are the call to any storm.
Throughout history, horses have been revered as symbols of strength, freedom, and spiritual connection. Their presence exudes a kind of ethereal beauty that effortlessly captivates anyone lucky enough to witness it. They are the embodiment of grace, power, and resilience, teaching us valuable lessons about life and ourselves along the way.
Beyond their physical allure, horses possess an incredible ability to heal. Their nonjudgmental nature and unwavering acceptance create a safe space where we can truly be ourselves. When you’re around them time slows down, worries fade away and you find solace and serenity from the chaos of everyday life. This is why I chose to volunteer at an equine mental health facility and pursuit certifications in equine mental health facilitation.
My love for horses runs deep, all the way from childhood in Brazil. They were an escape from me during extremely hard times and will forever hold a special place in my heart. They taught me patience, perseverance, and the importance of trust. Through them I’ve learned to embrace vulnerability, listen with my heart, and communicate beyond words. Horses are not only companions but soulmates, connecting with me on a level that words alone cannot express.
This horse is Bella and she lives in . I spent every day with her for hours when visited her ranch, in her presence during my cross country trip. Her demeanor and love for connection was unparalleled, and I have never met a horse like her since.
Let their presence remind you of beauty and peace in the world.
How to get comfortable being alone with yourself
Once you’re comfortable being alone and happy with yourself, life will change dramatically for you
In 2021 at the beginning of my 6 month road trip I felt pretty miserable traveling alone. I was also going through some intense personal stuff and many times I just wished I had someone with me that I could share these beautiful experiences with .
Then something shifted. The more alone out in nature I was, the more I realized what an incredible opportunity I had to go on this adventure alone. I didn't answer to anyone, plan, or work my schedule around someone else's. It was all about me, whatever I wanted to do (or not) at every second of the day.
So many people ask me how I did this alone. Was I afraid, did I get scared, did bad things happen, how did I prepare for bad things. How did I take my photos? (Many of my followers thought I had a secret photographer/bodyguard following me around for six months taking photos 🤣🤣).
Nope. This trip was all me, all solo, many times away from cell reception and humans, forcing me to be alone with my thoughts and in turn face some hard truths about myself. Yes, it was lonely at times, but I knew others would only serve to interrupt my solitude and the important things I knew I had to focus on for my own healing.
So yes. It was a blessing to be alone, both when I reveled in the solitude and when I loathed it. I was able to focus my time and energy only on myself, without any other distractions from the outside world unless I allowed it.
If you don’t feel comfortable being alone with yourself, now is the time to start. You don’t have to make a drastic move like I did and start traveling around alone. You can start off small. Take a walk alone, without your phone. Have a meal out alone, without your phone. Read a book alone. Then gradually build up from there.
When you’re comfortable being alone and enjoying your own company, it opens the door to creativity, expansion in your own life and confidence. Because you know you don’t need anyone else. You know yourself and you know you are enough. Those who come along in your life are just bonuses to what you already had before.
I know many people will never experience this, and I feel incredibly blessed I get to travel solo and live life on my terms, with all its ups and downs. I highly encourage you, in whatever state of life you are in, to try being alone. Start small, in the best you know how, and go from there.
Let me know in the comments below what are some of your favorites ways to enjoy your time alone! The possibilities are endless!
Why is it so hard to be happy?
Do you know why it’s hard to be happy? The answer may surprise you
"Do you know why it's so hard to be happy? Because we refuse to let go of the things that make us sad." -- Lupitha Herman
If you're seeing repeating negative patterns in your life, it's because you're hanging onto them. These patterns reinforce the negative beliefs and stories you have about yourself, making it easier to blame your issues on external circumstances, rather than taking responsibility & making changes in your life.
In the book Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton, he says those who've suffered from trauma tend to hang onto fears and stressful memories as a protection mechanism. While not all stress is bad, when our bodies become chronically stimulated by a stress response like sadness, depression, or daily stress, it compromises our health and changes our brain chemistry, resulting in a constant state of fight or flight.
My body was hardwired for stress. I've suffered from chronic stress for years from my childhood growing up in the Children of God cult, constantly in fear from punishment & abuse. This led to severe health issues and chronic anxiety in my adult life.
These days I have to constantly check in with my body as to whether I'm back under my chronic stress pattern. and if so, slowly let go of whatever put me back in that state.
Becoming aware of stress forces me to become aware of what I allow to affect me in life. Usually the things that affect me are things I'm not willing to let go of, in order to continue making excuses for myself, for whatever reason and whatever capacity.
I've had to let go of a lot of stories in my life to find internal peace and happiness. Every time I do, I progress to first understanding what happiness is (hint: it’s not what I initially thought or felt), start feeling that happiness, which leads me to feeling freer, at peace, and most of all without the need to judge, criticize, or put others down to make me feel better.
The key is letting go of your old stories. The things you are hanging on to, that you are addicted to. The excuses, the buts, everything. You have them because they served you once, but not anymore. They may have protected you in the past, but now they're only holding you back.
Those repeating patterns, the chronic state of unhappiness, stress, and annoyance, that's all there because you're allowing it to be there. Once you let go of the things that are making you sad, you'll realize that the only person keeping you trapped in the same vicious cycle, was yourself.
It IS about you!
Debunking the myth of selfish, the phrase “it’s not about you” and WHY YOU SHOULD start living for yourself!
Recently I’ve received a lot of messages asking me about my life, how I travel so much, how come I look "radiant" and "full of life." Interesting questions, to say the least. Also, the answer may not be what you want to hear or expecting.
Firstly, I'm not always happy and full of life. I have a ton of ups and downs, get triggered all the time thanks to my traumatic childhood and have to constantly talk myself out of an impending depression spiral.
But, what I have done to mitigate an impending mental crisis and create joy in my life is being so selfishly focused on myself and what I want, that I literally have no time to focus on others. This includes unfollowing all political accounts (programming to keep you mad and divided), and separating myself from groups/people that made me react in any way other than a smile.
I then use that time to fill it with things I love to do/always wanted to do but never did (mostly because I talked myself out of it by telling myself I’m too “old” to get started). This includes travel, working with horses, painting, gardening, pole dancing, yoga, naked hiking, exploring new lakes/towns, cooking, reading, writing, and more. When I also fit my actual job in there, I then have a full and fulfilling day that keeps me so busy I don't have time to get offended by the latest political party drama or any other crap that literally has no control over my life if I don't let it.
I understand that we all have different lives and not everyone can up and travel when they want, including myself. But exposing yourself to things that upset you is a choice. Not doing something because you’re scared to is a choice. Being offended is a choice. Being critical is a choice. Feeding your anger by reading things that offend you is 100% a choice. Being happy...Also a choice.
Happy people do not judge or criticize others. Full stop. I know this firsthand because was the most judgiest critical person ever. Like ever. Until I finally acknowledged it's just cause I wasn't happy in my own life.
When I realized the only person suffering from my anger was me, I decided to stop drinking the poison and waiting for others to die, take the antidote and move on with my life. And that's when things shifted. I formed better connections with others, and opened myself to more experience, in turn allowing myself to feel more joy, freedom, peace, love... This is to be full of life.
Now if I find myself critiquing or judging someone, I step back and think what's going on in my life that I'm unhappy with and how can I fix that. It takes some self reflection and a good hard look at yourself, but once you find the thing that’s holding you back, you can fix it, and move on with your life.
So stop following the people who make you mad, stop allowing everyone else to tell you what to think, how to act, what to be mad at and how to live. Live for yourself because guess what... contrary to what you've been told your whole life about it not being about you, well, surprise….it IS about you.
STOP THE DOOMSCROLLING! You'll be ok!
Doomscrolling is literally a word now, created just for 2020. Look it up online, it’s true.
Doomscrolling... a 2020 development wreaking havoc on the nation. So much that we even created a word for it.
Doomscrolling is a manufactured tactic by the media to make us chronically anxious and afraid. According to @amen_clinics, information (especially negative) is like crack. Brain-imaging research in 2019 found that information triggers the dopamine-fueled reward system in the same way as food, money, or drugs. The authors of this study suggest this is why we are susceptible to clickbait.
Doomscrolling = clickbait on steroids.
The human brain is wired for negativity. American psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson famously said "The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones." When you know this (and media corporations do), it's easy to create scare-inducing headlines about spiking COVID cases, politics, looting, & rioting keep us glued + afraid. And when you're afraid, you're easily controlled.
Fear leads to unhealthy behaviour like alcoholism, depression, anxiety, relationship problems, & more. You've seen it on social media, or perhaps you were caught up in one of these situations, as I was.
The best remedy to stop your doomscrolling habits is to start focusing on what's going RIGHT in your life rather than going wrong. Limit daily your social media and news intake. Take a mental break, get outside, LIVE YOUR LIFE.
It's not worth it letting go of a decade+ friendship because you disagree on politics, health, etc, whatever the case may be. Reassess what's valuable in your life: human connection or the TV giving you because it's telling you to? And proceed from there.
Here are more ways to avoid doomscrolling and take care of your mental health, according to Amen Clinics where I got my Brain Health Coaching Certification from.
Set time limits for scrolling
Add good news to your daily scrolling. Start and end your day with positivity. Read inspiring stories found on the Good News Network.
Go on an intermittent information fast. Mentally unplug from news on a regular basis.
If you’re tempted to send a snarky say “STOP” and count to 10 before hitting reply
Block social media and news sites that are especially depressing
Make your bedroom a technology free zone
You'll be ok! 💚👍
Survivor's Guilt and PTSD...is it real?
Understanding the link between survivor’s guilt, PTSD, and when others reinforce the beliefs in you
I read a great blog post from Amen University where I got my Brain Health Coaching certification from. In it, it talks about survivor’s guilt and what people go through after coming out of a tragic experience better than others.
According to Amen University, survivor’s guilt is often considered a serious symptom of PTSD. They say:
“While not everyone who endures a traumatic event will develop PTSD, some research estimates that as many as 90% of people who lived through events where others died experience feelings of guilt. They may question their own survival and feel a sense of responsibility for what happened:
Why did my buddy get killed, but not me?
Why did I run away from it?
Why didn’t I do more to save others?
What could I have done to prevent this tragedy?”
This one hits home to me all the time and really for anyone who has survived a tragic event when others didn't, or your experiences were different than others who survived the same tragedy.
For my personal experience growing up in the cult, I'm constantly attacked and demonized for talking about my experiences, sometimes from people very close to me. The accusations are always the same:
"You didn't have it as bad as me!" (indicating my trauma and experiences don't count because theirs were "worse" in their mind)
"You're a liar!" (indicating because my experiences were different, then I certainly must be lying)
"You're embellishing!" (exaggerating my trauma to make is seem worse, but it can't be worse, cause theirs is worse)
"You're a narcissist!" (indicating that because I'm talking about myself, I must not care about anyone else. Hint for this one: only narcissists call other people narcissists)
These words are not only deeply harmful to survivors but dangers and divisive. Rather than supporting those who are coming out to speak about their experiences, we're quick to blame, point the finger, and shut them down.
I was attacked so much from this that I actually began to believe it. This led to so much guilt that I had nothing to complain about because "so and so had it worse than me". This led me down a dark path of shame, silence, depression, and repressed anger.
Now that I'm speaking up about my life, these attacks are old news and SO 2019. But survivors guilt is real, ya'll. From war, to abuse, to car wrecks, to natural disasters, we CANNOT control what happens in our life or how we survive (or don't survive) it.
This article from Amen Clinics explains the link to survivor's guilt and PTSD, the common symptoms and how to heal from it. This was key in my path to recovery, and I know it can help others.
https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/understanding-the-relationship-between-survivors-guilt-and-ptsd/