It's ok to be wrong sometimes

Learning to accept when you’re wrong…and that your views can change over time

I had an interesting experience recently. A super woke channel accidentally promoted a video made by the cult I grew up in, The Children of God. This video was promoted in positive way, giving credit to its apocalyptic theme as “foretelling” of things to come.

When my comment on the video went unanswered, I sent a DM explaining that this video was made by an abusive cult that trafficked children. All children in the video were underage, filmed at a massive compound in Japan with 300 members. I know cause I was there.

Thankfully, I did get a response and they agreed to take the video down, but adding after that they “didn’t like how I communicated the info” to them. Well, I wouldn’t like it either if someone told me the video I posted to push my agenda came from an abusive cult. I’d be pretty embarrassed, actually.

But this experience did give me something to ponder. No matter how woke we are, no matter how much we know about gender, race, the pineal gland, ascension, or politics, we always have something new to learn. We’ll still be wrong about things, or believe information from sources we did not thoroughly research or know where it came from.

And you know what, that’s ok. That’s life. It’s OK to be wrong. It’s OK to change your beliefs. It’s OK to believe something 100%, then realize it was wrong. It’s OK to be checked by others and to learn from them. Yes, realizing your beliefs may not have been the right ones does sting. I’ve swallowed some big truth pills recently when I realized what I’ve been conditioned to believe my entire life was completely wrong. But accepting it, learning from it, & moving on is what matters most.

I’m grateful for this experience that reminded me to listen to other viewpoints, as hard as it may be. I don’t have all the answers, nobody does. But if someone has taught me something, I always try to acknowledge that, and allow myself the grace to change my opinion, change my belief, and understand that I’m a dynamic human being that is constantly changing and evolving.

We are ever changing humans that are here to grow, learn, and experience everything that life has to offer. Rather than shut out differing opinions, we should try our best to listen, as hard as it may be. Reaching a hand across the table to hear a differing point of view is essential to critical thinking and logic. Embrace the differences, take what is meaningful to you and leave the rest out. You never know what you may learn or where it will take you.

The Power and Symbolism of Blood and Children

Talking about the symbolism of blood, children, sacrifice, and why it matters

I recently talked about Nas X and his “Satan shoe” online. There was so much public & private engagement from post that I thought I'd follow up with another one to talk specifically about the symbolism of this shoe and what it represents.

I'm not religious, but I know everything around us has meaning & symbols. We take on the energy of what we surround ourselves with the most. Wearing a devil shoe with a drop of human blood has far more meaning than being edgy.

Blood Significance
There is a strong symbolic link between blood, life and death. Blood is holy and sacred. It's lifeforce, magic, one of the most powerful things on this earth. Blood represents the soul, your sovereignty and binding one person to another. Blood rituals have existed since the beginning of time.

In the Bible, blood symbolizes sacrifice, eternal life & the Divine. Self flagulation to draw blood for the cleansing of sins is used by certain Muslim groups. Pagan, Druid, Greek, Maya, and Olmec all used blood sacrifice and rituals in some form. Various African tribes still perform blood sacrifice to this day.

Blood magic includes blessings, curses, binding/unbinding, repenting from sins & more. Blood sacrifice is typically associated with bodily harm (cutting or killing) and could be categorized as black magic. Blood magic without bodily harm (menstrual blood) is used for selfless purposes like healing, union, blessings, and protection. This is known as white magic.

Black or dark magic is destructive and vindictive, used selfishly usually against another. The representation of Satan throughout history is selfishness, destructiveness, vindictiveness, cruelty, pain...the same things black magic represents.

If blood is in a satan shoe, what does that represent and those walking around wearing it? The significance of blood in a shoe that comes in a box with images of dead children in grotesque form is a lot more sinister than self expression, and it’s important to be aware of that.

Child Sacrifice

Another important topic regarding the shoe and the symbolism, are the images of child sacrifice.

Child sacrifice (trigger warning)
Throughout history, children have been used as pawns for control or to please a jealous God. Children are born pure, untainted & unspoiled by the evils of the world. This gives them appeal for darker forces.

Child sacrifice was used to please deities, gods, beings, powerful rulers conquerors after war. The idea behind child sacrifice is that giving up the most precious thing in life, your child, proves your loyalty to another and essentially, saves yourself from a similar fate.

Satanic rituals are known to include child sacrifice. Satanic cults and ritual abuse has been well documented in the US, with the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crimes (FBI) stating that victims in these cases report "ceremonies, chanting, robes and costumes, drugs, use of urine and feces, animal sacrifice, torture, abduction, mutilation, murder, and even cannibalism and vampirism."

In the Journal of American Culture, a woman said she was held in a Satanic cult where her parents were members, forcibly impregnated and held captive in order to sacrifice her child to satan when it was born.

Taking an innocent child's life to satiate a god, your own power or for Satanic rituals is 100% pure evil. The inside of the Satanic shoe box contains images of dead children hanging upside down with snakes going in between their bodies (snakes have significance too), surrounded by black horned demons and cradled by a winged skeleton demon.

None of this is harmless dress up. None of this is just entertainment and shock value. The images are intentional & symbolic. None of it represents good, truth, love, kindness, compassion, joy, light, peace, or anything positive in any way.

Whether you are religious or not, wearing shoes that represent pain, suffering, death, cruelty, selfishness and harm exposes us to those traits & energies. This numbs us to the issues going on in our country when these traits are presented as cool and expressive.

It is possible to express yourself and deliver powerful messages without embodying evil. I do it all the time.

Survivor's Guilt and PTSD...is it real?

Understanding the link between survivor’s guilt, PTSD, and when others reinforce the beliefs in you

I read a great blog post from Amen University where I got my Brain Health Coaching certification from. In it, it talks about survivor’s guilt and what people go through after coming out of a tragic experience better than others.

According to Amen University, survivor’s guilt is often considered a serious symptom of PTSD. They say:

“While not everyone who endures a traumatic event will develop PTSD, some research estimates that as many as 90% of people who lived through events where others died experience feelings of guilt. They may question their own survival and feel a sense of responsibility for what happened:

• Why did my buddy get killed, but not me?

• Why did I run away from it?

• Why didn’t I do more to save others?

• What could I have done to prevent this tragedy?”

This one hits home to me all the time and really for anyone who has survived a tragic event when others didn't, or your experiences were different than others who survived the same tragedy.

For my personal experience growing up in the cult, I'm constantly attacked and demonized for talking about my experiences, sometimes from people very close to me. The accusations are always the same:

• "You didn't have it as bad as me!" (indicating my trauma and experiences don't count because theirs were "worse" in their mind)

• "You're a liar!" (indicating because my experiences were different, then I certainly must be lying)

• "You're embellishing!" (exaggerating my trauma to make is seem worse, but it can't be worse, cause theirs is worse)

• "You're a narcissist!" (indicating that because I'm talking about myself, I must not care about anyone else. Hint for this one: only narcissists call other people narcissists)

These words are not only deeply harmful to survivors but dangers and divisive. Rather than supporting those who are coming out to speak about their experiences, we're quick to blame, point the finger, and shut them down.

I was attacked so much from this that I actually began to believe it. This led to so much guilt that I had nothing to complain about because "so and so had it worse than me". This led me down a dark path of shame, silence, depression, and repressed anger.

Now that I'm speaking up about my life, these attacks are old news and SO 2019. But survivors guilt is real, ya'll. From war, to abuse, to car wrecks, to natural disasters, we CANNOT control what happens in our life or how we survive (or don't survive) it.

This article from Amen Clinics explains the link to survivor's guilt and PTSD, the common symptoms and how to heal from it. This was key in my path to recovery, and I know it can help others.

https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/understanding-the-relationship-between-survivors-guilt-and-ptsd/