Understanding the link between survivor’s guilt, PTSD, and when others reinforce the beliefs in you
I read a great blog post from Amen University where I got my Brain Health Coaching certification from. In it, it talks about survivor’s guilt and what people go through after coming out of a tragic experience better than others.
According to Amen University, survivor’s guilt is often considered a serious symptom of PTSD. They say:
“While not everyone who endures a traumatic event will develop PTSD, some research estimates that as many as 90% of people who lived through events where others died experience feelings of guilt. They may question their own survival and feel a sense of responsibility for what happened:
Why did my buddy get killed, but not me?
Why did I run away from it?
Why didn’t I do more to save others?
What could I have done to prevent this tragedy?”
This one hits home to me all the time and really for anyone who has survived a tragic event when others didn't, or your experiences were different than others who survived the same tragedy.
For my personal experience growing up in the cult, I'm constantly attacked and demonized for talking about my experiences, sometimes from people very close to me. The accusations are always the same:
"You didn't have it as bad as me!" (indicating my trauma and experiences don't count because theirs were "worse" in their mind)
"You're a liar!" (indicating because my experiences were different, then I certainly must be lying)
"You're embellishing!" (exaggerating my trauma to make is seem worse, but it can't be worse, cause theirs is worse)
"You're a narcissist!" (indicating that because I'm talking about myself, I must not care about anyone else. Hint for this one: only narcissists call other people narcissists)
These words are not only deeply harmful to survivors but dangers and divisive. Rather than supporting those who are coming out to speak about their experiences, we're quick to blame, point the finger, and shut them down.
I was attacked so much from this that I actually began to believe it. This led to so much guilt that I had nothing to complain about because "so and so had it worse than me". This led me down a dark path of shame, silence, depression, and repressed anger.
Now that I'm speaking up about my life, these attacks are old news and SO 2019. But survivors guilt is real, ya'll. From war, to abuse, to car wrecks, to natural disasters, we CANNOT control what happens in our life or how we survive (or don't survive) it.
This article from Amen Clinics explains the link to survivor's guilt and PTSD, the common symptoms and how to heal from it. This was key in my path to recovery, and I know it can help others.
https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/understanding-the-relationship-between-survivors-guilt-and-ptsd/