What can you do about child trafficking? From a child trafficking survivor

Me singing at the base of the Cristo statue with a bunch of other cult kids, in Rio de Janeiro where I grew up.

Me at 12 years old in The Children of God cult, singing at the base of the Cristo statue with a bunch of other cult kids in Rio de Janeiro where I grew up.

In my TikTok account, I talk all about my memories of growing up in The Children of God Cult. I talk about how I was labor trafficked (like in the photo above), the insane cult practices, and my experiences growing up in the leadership inner circle as a child celebrity, known in the cult as Mary Dear.

Because of my outspoken views on cults, child trafficking, sexuality, men, women’s rights and more, many people have come to me with their concerns and well wishes, telling me that the recent reports in the news with more Epstein file leaks, more stories of child abuse and trafficking, have been deeply distressing to them.

I thank all of those who have checked in on me during this time to ask how I am I doing mentally, because many people are struggling right now and feeling overwhelmed with all this news. Many are just now coming to terms that their favorite celebrity or politician, may be, in fact, a child abuser.

And while yes, it’s understandable for people to feel overwhelmed, angry, and disheartened about the recent developments, the short answer for me is, I’m doing just fine.

Why?

Well, one, because I’ve been working on healing my trauma and mental health since 2018. I’ve done more work on myself than 99% of the people I know. I know the ins and outs of trauma, of psychological warfare, manipulation, gaslighting, trafficking, cults, mind control, and more.

I consider myself fully healed in that yes, while I know healing is not linear where you reach a pinnacle of nirvana, I now have all the tools necessary to regulate my emotions and take care of myself when I am triggered or in a bad spot, in order to not perpetuate my trauma onto others.

And two, nothing in the news bothers me because, well, I don’t watch it. I have a very strict rule of what type of content I consume, and I don’t watch or read things that are meant to make my emotions run high to where I’m not thinking out of logic and reasoning, but on emotions.

Many people have this belief (exasperated by Social media) that it’s honorable and the right thing to do to get mad at everything going on in the world, to scream and yell about it on social media from the comfort of your house, to be mad at the “system” “the patriarchy” “the government”, etc. but not taking further action.

While yes, there is a time and a place for online activism, usually social media activism falls short cause what good are you doing in your life (except elevate your cortisol levels) and your community to constantly to get upset at the next trending tragedy, the next war, the next terrible event that the media shoves on us.

If you’ve ever studied Journalism (like I did in my 6 year college journey when I escaped the cult and proceeded to change my major 4 times), you will know that trauma sells. If the news was reporting majorly positive stories, less people would watch, which means less sponsors, which means less ads, which means less money.

Trauma sells. Disaster sells. That’s why we go through phases of marching around because of this terrible thing in the news, or sharing a bunch of terrible videos of things going on in other countries, and then, suddenly…poof. It’s like it never happened. Why? Because we need a new trauma to get addicted to, so the media just pushes the next one out for us (Remember KONY2012?)

In the past years I can name them all: Remember when people put flags on their profile for Ukraine? Then we were made about immigration. Now it’s Palestine, and we’re moving into Sudan…FYI, the war in Ukraine is still happening. Gaza, still happening. What isn’t happening is seeing a bunch of Ukraine flags everywhere. And less and less Palestine. But you best believe me we’ll start seeing Sudan soon.

Which leads me to my next and final point.

If you are feeling angry, overwhelmed, constantly mad at the big bad system that’s out to get you, put it all away. Turn it off, and unfollow.

Then, go volunteer in your own community. There are starving kids right down the street from you. There are kids who have immigrated here to escape wars, children who have lost parents and family members in horrific ways. There are kids who are recovering from car crashes, fires, abuse and more IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD .

You want to make a difference? It’s not sharing videos online and arguing with strangers on the internet.

Go volunteer at a hospital, orphanage, a burn unit, mental health facility, immigration center, and more. Go make a difference in your own community first. Then watch your life and mental health change, because now you are funneling that anger into something productive that is actually helping people.

This is the simple answers.

Things will ALWAYS be happening in the world, and you can’t do anything about it, and you don’t have control over it. What you do have control over, is how you react to these events, and what you do about it going forward.

Online activism is not activism. It’s trauma addiction. Many people who are out there sharing videos are sitting on their couch, not doing anything about it. I say this as a kid who grew up in a cult, yes, but the one thing we did do in the cult, was be of service to others.

I grew up going to orphanages, hospitals, retirement homes and favelas (def had no business being there, but I digress), to provide food, clothing, songs, and more to those less fortunate than me. This instilled in me a knowledge and desire to always be service in my community, so in my adult life, I volunteered all over Texas at women’s shelters and equine mental health facilities.

So yes my friends, it’s really as simple as that. Turn off the news, get out of your house, and go be of service to others.

Stop getting angry for no reason, shouting at strangers on the internet and making your life worse. Go out there do something about it.

That’s real change and activism.

What growing up in a sex cult taught me - Part 1

My recent podcast on Cults to Consciousness about my life

Your chosen family teaches you about love and care. Your blood family teaches you patience and forgiveness.

My parents are my greatest teachers. They taught me strength, adversity, empathy, compassion, kindness, vulnerability, authenticity, truthfulness, resilience, independence, and so much more. But most of all they taught me forgiveness and patience. Forgiveness to be able to set myself free from the terrible abuses of my childhood. Patience to allow them to show up as the people they are and understand that they will not change unless they want to. This is what my blood family has taught me.

My chosen family, taught me respect, camaraderie, community, confidence, sisterhood, support, overcoming, joy, friendship, trust, loyalty, communication, love, and care. They taught me what it means to have a true bond as either a friend, a partner, or mentor. From them I learned what healthy, loving, caring relationships looks like in the way they show up in the world for their own family, their friends, and me.

There was an interesting question I heard yesterday on The Diary of a CEO. And that was, if you had the ability to remove pain from life forever, would you? It took me awhile to ponder this question as with pain comes so much other stuff. Sickness, heartbreak, disease, mental issues, and more. So could I remove those as well?

i came to the conclusion similar to the interviewer. Which is that without pain, I don’t think we’d truly appreciate the joy. It would just be. We would probably go through life a bit numb, because everything is pain free. You must be alive to feel pain, and joy. That’s the balance of life. If I didn’t feel pain or suffering, I wouldn’t be alive. And I truly feel alive.

So thank you to my parents and the cult for teaching me about pain, teaching me about kindness, teaching me about healing. While I may not have wanted those lessons, I feel blessed that I was able to turn them into something valuable and beautiful, and for that I am grateful.

A conversation with my younger self on our birthday

Talking to my younger self on our birthday, February 12th

12 years old in Rio, Brazil

I met my younger self on a walk today, for a conversation with her on our birthday.

She asked me if I was ok. If I was safe. I said yes, after many years I can finally say I’m ok, I’m safe. I removed myself from my abusive childhood, broke the generational trauma and began living life on my terms.

She asked if we figured out what we wanted to be when we grew up, if we found purpose and meaning in life.

I told her no, and after many years searching, we decided to live like the animals. To be present, stop searching and trust meaning will find you. We threw out every rule book & blueprint for life, & decided to go our own way, even when it seemed contrary to what we “should” do. But it led to exact places we were meant to be.

“So we’re happy, right?” She asked. “We have the perfect life? Perfect situation?” I tell her no. Nothing in life is perfect. Along the way we struggle with body image, a decade of eating disorders, struggles with sexuality, men, relationships, finances, everything.

Life is a struggle. But it’s also beautiful. The pursuit of happiness is another false rule book people made up to shame you into thinking you’re not good enough, you’re doing it wrong, try harder. It’s exhausting.

I tell her life is not a one way destination. It’s the journey along the way, the experiences, friends, & relationships that shape your life. I tell her it’s ok to be sad, to feel lost, to not know. None of us have the answers, we’re all making it up as we go along.

We continue to walk. I tell her about fear, sorrow, anger, & loss. All the things she is afraid to feel. And then I tell her the truth—these are the most beautiful parts of life. The parts we try to shun and suppress. Because it’s in the deepest, darkest, rawest moments that we come to know ourselves. That we learn what it means to love and accept who we are, completely.

So no, I tell her, there is no finish line where we stand victorious, with nothing left to struggle against. There is just us, living every emotion, every season, every fleeting moment. That’s how to truly live.

Only when we stopped searching for a destination, we found something else: peace.

Because peace begins with me.

Get out in the great outdoors

In this fast-paced world, we often forget the incredible healing powers nature offers. We’re forget to connect and recharge by immersing ourselves in the tranquil embrace of the great outdoors. 🌞💚

Research has shown that spending time in nature reduces stress, improves mental well-being, and increases creativity. 📚💡 It’s always great to take a break from screens and urban chaos to embark on an adventure with nature as your teacher.

Today, take a moment to disconnect from the chaos, plug into nature, and listen to what it has to tell you. When you spend time with the healing powers of nature, your soul and spirit will heal.

Or…you may realize that you never needed healing in the first place. You just needed to leave your bubble, get outside, and reconnect with what’s most important…yourself and you spirit.

The Woman and the Tree

A poem about nature’s healing magic by Serena Kelley

In the heart of a forest, where solitude thrives
A woman sought solace to quiet her cries.
Beneath the grand canopy, she found her retreat
A wise old tree, a friend with roots firm and deep.

The woman approached, burdened by the mundane
Her spirit entangled, a wearisome chain.
She sighed to the tree, "Oh, one so wise,
I'm mired in life's struggles, beneath sorrow's disguise.

Each day feels a burden, a weight on my soul
I long to be free, feel happy and whole.
Tell me wise one, with your wisdom so vast,
How can I find freedom to break free from the past?"

The tree whispered softly, its branches swaying low,
"My dear, you are free, more than you'll know.
Bound not by the world, but the thoughts you believe,
Release the shackles and your spirit will free.

The roots that ground me reach into the earth
But they do not define me, they're simply my birth.

As such, your routines need not keep you confined
For you hold the power to leave them behind.

Choose to dance with the wind, like leaves in the breeze
Embrace the untrodden path, let your heart find its ease.
The world may throw troubles, but they need not define
For you, my dear friend, possess a freedom divine.

Open your eyes to the beauty around
The caress of sunlight, the songbird's sweet sounds.

Your soul is unbounded, a spirit that's free
Release all worries, and your eyes will see.
Embrace life's adventures, explore the unknown
For you have the choice, you're not meant to be thrown."

The woman listened, her heart stirred by the tree
A hope awakened, her spirit set free.
She looked up in awe to thank the tree so grand
For showing her freedom lay within her own hands.

From that day forward, she walked a different path
Unburdened by routines, liberated from the past.
The forest is her haven, her sanctuary of choice
Finding solace in nature & the tree's gentle voice.

So remember dear wanderer, when life weighs you down
Freedom's within you, a choice to be found.
Seek the wisdom of trees, let their voices guide
And embrace liberation, for on wings of joy you'll glide.

—Serena Kelley

Horses are some of nature's greatest healers

There’s something truly enchanting about horses, something that transcends mere words and touches the deepest corners of our souls. They possess a unique kind of magic that fills our hearts with wonder and awe.

🐎 Horses are more than just graceful animals; they are empathetic beings, capable of forging a connection that goes beyond human understanding. Whenever I find myself in their presence, an indescribable sense of peace washes over me. They are the call to any storm.

Throughout history, horses have been revered as symbols of strength, freedom, and spiritual connection. Their presence exudes a kind of ethereal beauty that effortlessly captivates anyone lucky enough to witness it. They are the embodiment of grace, power, and resilience, teaching us valuable lessons about life and ourselves along the way.

Beyond their physical allure, horses possess an incredible ability to heal. Their nonjudgmental nature and unwavering acceptance create a safe space where we can truly be ourselves. When you’re around them time slows down, worries fade away and you find solace and serenity from the chaos of everyday life. This is why I chose to volunteer at an equine mental health facility and pursuit certifications in equine mental health facilitation.

My love for horses runs deep, all the way from childhood in Brazil. They were an escape from me during extremely hard times and will forever hold a special place in my heart. They taught me patience, perseverance, and the importance of trust. Through them I’ve learned to embrace vulnerability, listen with my heart, and communicate beyond words. Horses are not only companions but soulmates, connecting with me on a level that words alone cannot express.

This horse is Bella and she lives in . I spent every day with her for hours when visited her ranch, in her presence during my cross country trip. Her demeanor and love for connection was unparalleled, and I have never met a horse like her since.

Let their presence remind you of beauty and peace in the world.