A conversation with my younger self on our birthday

Talking to my younger self on our birthday, February 12th

12 years old in Rio, Brazil

I met my younger self on a walk today, for a conversation with her on our birthday.

She asked me if I was ok. If I was safe. I said yes, after many years I can finally say I’m ok, I’m safe. I removed myself from my abusive childhood, broke the generational trauma and began living life on my terms.

She asked if we figured out what we wanted to be when we grew up, if we found purpose and meaning in life.

I told her no, and after many years searching, we decided to live like the animals. To be present, stop searching and trust meaning will find you. We threw out every rule book & blueprint for life, & decided to go our own way, even when it seemed contrary to what we “should” do. But it led to exact places we were meant to be.

“So we’re happy, right?” She asked. “We have the perfect life? Perfect situation?” I tell her no. Nothing in life is perfect. Along the way we struggle with body image, a decade of eating disorders, struggles with sexuality, men, relationships, finances, everything.

Life is a struggle. But it’s also beautiful. The pursuit of happiness is another false rule book people made up to shame you into thinking you’re not good enough, you’re doing it wrong, try harder. It’s exhausting.

I tell her life is not a one way destination. It’s the journey along the way, the experiences, friends, & relationships that shape your life. I tell her it’s ok to be sad, to feel lost, to not know. None of us have the answers, we’re all making it up as we go along.

We continue to walk. I tell her about fear, sorrow, anger, & loss. All the things she is afraid to feel. And then I tell her the truth—these are the most beautiful parts of life. The parts we try to shun and suppress. Because it’s in the deepest, darkest, rawest moments that we come to know ourselves. That we learn what it means to love and accept who we are, completely.

So no, I tell her, there is no finish line where we stand victorious, with nothing left to struggle against. There is just us, living every emotion, every season, every fleeting moment. That’s how to truly live.

Only when we stopped searching for a destination, we found something else: peace.

Because peace begins with me.

The Woman and the Tree

A poem about nature’s healing magic by Serena Kelley

In the heart of a forest, where solitude thrives
A woman sought solace to quiet her cries.
Beneath the grand canopy, she found her retreat
A wise old tree, a friend with roots firm and deep.

The woman approached, burdened by the mundane
Her spirit entangled, a wearisome chain.
She sighed to the tree, "Oh, one so wise,
I'm mired in life's struggles, beneath sorrow's disguise.

Each day feels a burden, a weight on my soul
I long to be free, feel happy and whole.
Tell me wise one, with your wisdom so vast,
How can I find freedom to break free from the past?"

The tree whispered softly, its branches swaying low,
"My dear, you are free, more than you'll know.
Bound not by the world, but the thoughts you believe,
Release the shackles and your spirit will free.

The roots that ground me reach into the earth
But they do not define me, they're simply my birth.

As such, your routines need not keep you confined
For you hold the power to leave them behind.

Choose to dance with the wind, like leaves in the breeze
Embrace the untrodden path, let your heart find its ease.
The world may throw troubles, but they need not define
For you, my dear friend, possess a freedom divine.

Open your eyes to the beauty around
The caress of sunlight, the songbird's sweet sounds.

Your soul is unbounded, a spirit that's free
Release all worries, and your eyes will see.
Embrace life's adventures, explore the unknown
For you have the choice, you're not meant to be thrown."

The woman listened, her heart stirred by the tree
A hope awakened, her spirit set free.
She looked up in awe to thank the tree so grand
For showing her freedom lay within her own hands.

From that day forward, she walked a different path
Unburdened by routines, liberated from the past.
The forest is her haven, her sanctuary of choice
Finding solace in nature & the tree's gentle voice.

So remember dear wanderer, when life weighs you down
Freedom's within you, a choice to be found.
Seek the wisdom of trees, let their voices guide
And embrace liberation, for on wings of joy you'll glide.

—Serena Kelley

Why nature is such a powerful tool

Something special happens the second I get out in nature. Less stress, more present, less vulnerable to the elements and more comfortable just being.

Nature has such strong healing powers. I’m so glad more studies are coming out and more subjects about grounding, energy, natural medicine and more are becoming more mainstream. Everything that we need to heal, nature already provides.

I’m so thankful I get to spend my time enjoying the incredible beauty that this world has to offer. The USA is a beautiful country with breathtakingly gorgeous mountains, beaches, lakes, canyons and waterfalls. I have so much more appreciation for this place than I did just a few years ago. Likewise the more I travel the world, the more thankful I am to live this life and be able to experience as much as I can through travel and exploration.

As much division and frustration and sadness there is around us now, one thing we can all agree on is how blessed we are to live in a beautiful world, or to be in the USA, a massive country with plenty of space and beauty for all of us.

And if you haven’t seen it…I suggest you go out there and give it a try!

All good things are wild and free

When was the last time you felt truly wild and free…if ever?

"All good things are wild and free." -- Henry David Thoreau

When was the last time you felt truly free? For me I feel it every time I travel, when I explore a new destination, land in a country I’ve never been surrounded by people speaking a language I don’t understand. I relish the novelty, the excitement an the overwhelm.

But sometimes, I long for more. For true, raw, unbridled freedom. Freedom that’s hard to get in most cities, crowded spots and fast-paced lifestyles. It's being alone out in nature, in the wild, with nothing to keep me company except myself, and whatever nature is around.

Here is when I can come back to myself. Back to life, back to the beginning, naked, stripped away of everything I identity with, to remind myself of who I truly am, without all the other outside accolades and identities to hide behind. It’s here where I truly feel the freedom that life has to offer.

I hope everyone can experience the magic of nature, not just outside your door, but truly in the wild. With no one else around to tell you what to do, how to think or how to act.

We live our lives everyday under the rules of civilization and judgments of others. We're not even aware of how much this influences us until we completely step out of that bubble and see everything with a new lens.

When we connect with nature, we found parts of ourselves that we completely lost along life’s way. The parts that were shut down, the weirdness and oddities at our core that make us truly unique and connect us to the specific gifts we each have to share with the world.

I hope everyone can experience true #freedom in their lives at some point. It would change so much about who we are, how we react and show up in the world. When freedom comes from within, the rest will follow.

Cheers to forever being wild and free!

Healing through movement

A huge part of my healing process was movement. Sure you can talk to a therapist and cry and grieve but in order to fully heal, to fully move past trauma, you need to release the old, stuck energy in your body that is holding you back and making you sick.

And…It doesn’t have to be a sad, serious process. I wish I would have found that out sooner.

Movement in any form is important to keep the chi, our bodily life force, flowing through us freely. I often just jump and shake after an unpleasant incident just to get the negative energy out of me. We are physical beings and we need to physically shake that shit off!

Also…It keeps you looking and feeling young 🧚‍♀️🙌✨

So…let’s get physical!!

#mysereneearth #traumarecovery #traumainformed #mypathtohealing #childrenofgod #thechildrenofgod #childrenofgodcult #thefamilyinternational #marydear #dancetherapy #releasestuckenergy #lifeforce

Here's what helped me heal from trauma

Healing from traumatic events comes in many forms. First you acknowledge that you need to heal, then you begin the process. The good news is that it's not all sorrow and pain and grief. While that is a huge part, what comes after is the joy of beginning again, experiencing life with new meaning, learning who you really are, what you love and what lights you up. This is what this video is all about.

2019 and 2020 were two of the hardest yet most transformative of my life. It helped me create the life I have today, a life I truly I love. 💛💜

#traumarecovery #mysereneearth #freedom #traumahealing #traumainformed #peacebeginswithme #justbreatheletitgo