A conversation with my younger self on our birthday

Talking to my younger self on our birthday, February 12th

12 years old in Rio, Brazil

I met my younger self on a walk today, for a conversation with her on our birthday.

She asked me if I was ok. If I was safe. I said yes, after many years I can finally say I’m ok, I’m safe. I removed myself from my abusive childhood, broke the generational trauma and began living life on my terms.

She asked if we figured out what we wanted to be when we grew up, if we found purpose and meaning in life.

I told her no, and after many years searching, we decided to live like the animals. To be present, stop searching and trust meaning will find you. We threw out every rule book & blueprint for life, & decided to go our own way, even when it seemed contrary to what we “should” do. But it led to exact places we were meant to be.

“So we’re happy, right?” She asked. “We have the perfect life? Perfect situation?” I tell her no. Nothing in life is perfect. Along the way we struggle with body image, a decade of eating disorders, struggles with sexuality, men, relationships, finances, everything.

Life is a struggle. But it’s also beautiful. The pursuit of happiness is another false rule book people made up to shame you into thinking you’re not good enough, you’re doing it wrong, try harder. It’s exhausting.

I tell her life is not a one way destination. It’s the journey along the way, the experiences, friends, & relationships that shape your life. I tell her it’s ok to be sad, to feel lost, to not know. None of us have the answers, we’re all making it up as we go along.

We continue to walk. I tell her about fear, sorrow, anger, & loss. All the things she is afraid to feel. And then I tell her the truth—these are the most beautiful parts of life. The parts we try to shun and suppress. Because it’s in the deepest, darkest, rawest moments that we come to know ourselves. That we learn what it means to love and accept who we are, completely.

So no, I tell her, there is no finish line where we stand victorious, with nothing left to struggle against. There is just us, living every emotion, every season, every fleeting moment. That’s how to truly live.

Only when we stopped searching for a destination, we found something else: peace.

Because peace begins with me.

Get out in the great outdoors

In this fast-paced world, we often forget the incredible healing powers nature offers. We’re forget to connect and recharge by immersing ourselves in the tranquil embrace of the great outdoors. 🌞💚

Research has shown that spending time in nature reduces stress, improves mental well-being, and increases creativity. 📚💡 It’s always great to take a break from screens and urban chaos to embark on an adventure with nature as your teacher.

Today, take a moment to disconnect from the chaos, plug into nature, and listen to what it has to tell you. When you spend time with the healing powers of nature, your soul and spirit will heal.

Or…you may realize that you never needed healing in the first place. You just needed to leave your bubble, get outside, and reconnect with what’s most important…yourself and you spirit.

All good things are wild and free

When was the last time you felt truly wild and free…if ever?

"All good things are wild and free." -- Henry David Thoreau

When was the last time you felt truly free? For me I feel it every time I travel, when I explore a new destination, land in a country I’ve never been surrounded by people speaking a language I don’t understand. I relish the novelty, the excitement an the overwhelm.

But sometimes, I long for more. For true, raw, unbridled freedom. Freedom that’s hard to get in most cities, crowded spots and fast-paced lifestyles. It's being alone out in nature, in the wild, with nothing to keep me company except myself, and whatever nature is around.

Here is when I can come back to myself. Back to life, back to the beginning, naked, stripped away of everything I identity with, to remind myself of who I truly am, without all the other outside accolades and identities to hide behind. It’s here where I truly feel the freedom that life has to offer.

I hope everyone can experience the magic of nature, not just outside your door, but truly in the wild. With no one else around to tell you what to do, how to think or how to act.

We live our lives everyday under the rules of civilization and judgments of others. We're not even aware of how much this influences us until we completely step out of that bubble and see everything with a new lens.

When we connect with nature, we found parts of ourselves that we completely lost along life’s way. The parts that were shut down, the weirdness and oddities at our core that make us truly unique and connect us to the specific gifts we each have to share with the world.

I hope everyone can experience true #freedom in their lives at some point. It would change so much about who we are, how we react and show up in the world. When freedom comes from within, the rest will follow.

Cheers to forever being wild and free!

When taking the risk works out

This goes for anything, really. But especially when you start doing something out of the norm, many people will start to tell you why it can’t be done or why you shouldn’t do it.

The amount of times I was told I’d be bitten by tics, trapped by a bear, murdered by a serial killer, die in the desert, get COVID, my dog would die from a snake bite or get eaten by a bear, I’d be kidnapped, and all other sorts of things…wow if I listened to even half of these I wouldn’t have left the house!

So instead, I didn’t listen to anyone but myself, packed up my car and drove around the country living in it for six months, and came home perfectly safe. Franklin too.

Also, I did everything I said I was gonna do, and more. And I did a lot of it naked. And I’m still alive to tell the tale and share the photos.

If there’s something you want to do but you’re getting swayed by other people’s opinions of it, just stop listening to them. Or better yet, don’t talk about it until you’re well on your way and can’t be dissuaded by others. The outcome will be well worth it.

#mysereneearth #sereneearthtravels #nakedagain #nudainnature #solotravel #girlswhotravel #soloadventures #nakedinnature #nakedlifetruths #nudaisnormal #nuda #faerie #faerielife #nakedfaeries #faeriefolk #forestbathing #toyota4runner #toyota4runnersr5 #toyota4runnerlife

How dance reconnects you to your body

Healing through movement - part 2

Healing from sexual trauma requires not only conscious but subconscious efforts, if you want truly break out of the self-imposed prison your brain put you in to protect you.

When we experience sexual trauma, our brain dissociates. This enables us to not only “deal” with the trauma, but disconnect so we don’t fully experience the horror of what our bodies experience.

The problem is, we stay dissociated & become completely disconnected to ourselves and bodies. We don’t fully feel anything anymore…joy, sorrow, excitement, pain. You don’t know how to be truly alive as you are not fully there, in your conscious mind and body.

What helped me get to a place of being comfortable back in my body and sexuality, was movement. This can look different to each person, but for me it was dancing. In my 20s I spent most of the decade dancing away in clubs. While this was not the healthiest way to move emotions through my body, it was what worked for me at the time. I credit it as actually being a big source of healing & reacquaintance to my body, and for this I’ll never be ashamed of it.

These days I often practice hip movements like this. Grounding, isolated moves focused on the pelvic region. Why? It helps get in touch with the parts of your body you’ve ignored because they’ve been violated. It reconnects you to the discarded parts of yourself that were too painful to take notice of before. That’s where dancing comes in. With the reconnection of our bodies with movement…you can heal.

Healing is work, yes, but it doesn’t have to be terrifying, sad and serious all the time. It can be fun, exciting, new, and different. Just approach it like a curious child and think “what can I try today that I haven’t before?” Then go do it!

Other forms of movement for healing include:
- Walking
- Running
- Stretching
- Horseback riding
- Swimming
- Yoga
- Rock climbing
- Biking
- Hiking.. And more!

I want to know… what movement worked for when you were going through something? Comment below!

#mysereneearth #traumarecovery #traumainformed #mypathtohealing #childrenofgod #traumahealing #childrenofgodcult #marydear #dancetherapy #danceitout #dancevibes #movetoheal

Healing through movement

A huge part of my healing process was movement. Sure you can talk to a therapist and cry and grieve but in order to fully heal, to fully move past trauma, you need to release the old, stuck energy in your body that is holding you back and making you sick.

And…It doesn’t have to be a sad, serious process. I wish I would have found that out sooner.

Movement in any form is important to keep the chi, our bodily life force, flowing through us freely. I often just jump and shake after an unpleasant incident just to get the negative energy out of me. We are physical beings and we need to physically shake that shit off!

Also…It keeps you looking and feeling young 🧚‍♀️🙌✨

So…let’s get physical!!

#mysereneearth #traumarecovery #traumainformed #mypathtohealing #childrenofgod #thechildrenofgod #childrenofgodcult #thefamilyinternational #marydear #dancetherapy #releasestuckenergy #lifeforce