How dance reconnects you to your body

Healing through movement - part 2

Healing from sexual trauma requires not only conscious but subconscious efforts, if you want truly break out of the self-imposed prison your brain put you in to protect you.

When we experience sexual trauma, our brain dissociates. This enables us to not only “deal” with the trauma, but disconnect so we don’t fully experience the horror of what our bodies experience.

The problem is, we stay dissociated & become completely disconnected to ourselves and bodies. We don’t fully feel anything anymore…joy, sorrow, excitement, pain. You don’t know how to be truly alive as you are not fully there, in your conscious mind and body.

What helped me get to a place of being comfortable back in my body and sexuality, was movement. This can look different to each person, but for me it was dancing. In my 20s I spent most of the decade dancing away in clubs. While this was not the healthiest way to move emotions through my body, it was what worked for me at the time. I credit it as actually being a big source of healing & reacquaintance to my body, and for this I’ll never be ashamed of it.

These days I often practice hip movements like this. Grounding, isolated moves focused on the pelvic region. Why? It helps get in touch with the parts of your body you’ve ignored because they’ve been violated. It reconnects you to the discarded parts of yourself that were too painful to take notice of before. That’s where dancing comes in. With the reconnection of our bodies with movement…you can heal.

Healing is work, yes, but it doesn’t have to be terrifying, sad and serious all the time. It can be fun, exciting, new, and different. Just approach it like a curious child and think “what can I try today that I haven’t before?” Then go do it!

Other forms of movement for healing include:
- Walking
- Running
- Stretching
- Horseback riding
- Swimming
- Yoga
- Rock climbing
- Biking
- Hiking.. And more!

I want to know… what movement worked for when you were going through something? Comment below!

#mysereneearth #traumarecovery #traumainformed #mypathtohealing #childrenofgod #traumahealing #childrenofgodcult #marydear #dancetherapy #danceitout #dancevibes #movetoheal

What growing up in a sex cult taught me - Pt 2

Chosen family vs. blood family…what can we learn?

A peaceful walk in the seaside town of Cascais, Portugal

Your chosen family teaches you about love and care. Your blood family teaches you patience and forgiveness.

With yet another interview out about me, I’ve often been asked about the relationship with my parents.

To be honest, I never had a relationship with them. They did not raise me, and they were strangers to me as a child. They were also terrible parents and highly abusive. But they taught me valuable lessons about myself and the type of person I want to be. 

My parents are my greatest teachers. They taught me strength, adversity, empathy, compassion, kindness, vulnerability, authenticity, truthfulness, resilience, independence, and so much more. But most of all they taught me forgiveness and patience. Forgiveness to be able to set myself free from the terrible abuses of my childhood. Patience to allow them to show up as the people they are and understand that they will not change unless they want to. This is what my blood family has taught me.

My chosen family, however, taught me respect, camaraderie, community, confidence, sisterhood, support, overcoming, joy, friendship, trust, loyalty, communication, love, and care. They taught me what it means to have a true bond as either a friend, a partner, or mentor. From them I learned what healthy, loving, caring relationships looks like in the way they show up in the world for their own family, their friends, and me. 

Without true love, without knowing someone cares, what do we have? All we want is to be seen, heard, love, excepted, and respected. Without that we have nothing.

So I want to thank both my blood family and my chosen family for teaching me so much about life, about what it means to be human and providing me with so many valuable experiences and opportunities to learn and grow in this lifetime. It’s because of both my blood family and my chosen family that I am a better person today than I was just a year ago. 

I’m thankful for the pain and suffering I’ve felt through life because each time I refuse to let it bring me down, even though many times I wasn’t sure if I’d pull through. But I know that I can either allow the pain to help me grow and evolve, or I can wallow in it and sit around waiting for someone to save me.

 There was an interesting question I heard yesterday on The Diary of a CEO. And that was, if you had the ability to remove pain from life forever, would you? It took me awhile to ponder this question as with pain comes so much other stuff. Sickness, heartbreak, disease, mental issues, and more. So could I remove those as well?

i came to the conclusion similar to the interviewer. Which is that without pain, I don’t think we’d truly appreciate the joy. It would just be. We would probably go through life a bit numb, because everything is pain free. You must be alive to feel pain, and joy. That’s the balance of life. If I didn’t feel pain or suffering, I wouldn’t be alive. And I truly feel alive.

So thank you to my parents and the cult for teaching me about pain, teaching me about kindness, teaching me about healing. While I may not have wanted those lessons, I feel blessed that I was able to turn them into something valuable and beautiful, and for that I am grateful.

What others say about you is not your business

Yes, we’ve heard it before. And no, I don’t think it ever resonated until my recent experience.

If you have a story you know you’re meant to tell, do it, regardless of the criticism.

In the past I’ve criticized others for speaking out. It’s because I knew I wanted to as well, but I wasn't ready yet. When I saw others have the bravery to do it, even though I didn’t necessarily agree with them, I criticized instead. But it was jealousy, plain and simple.

We are all on the same side, there is room for everyone to have a voice. No one person has on the monopoly on any story, niche, or background. I think it’s important to hear so many sides of one event!

Those who are brave enough to come forward with their story risk losing friends, family, and loved ones. I know I will support anyone else who chooses this same path.

Maya Angelou said if you’re looking for rainbows but all you see are clouds, remember that thunderstorms will always run out of rain.

“Take whatever you can from those who came before you. Those are the rainbows in your clouds. Remember If you are searching for rainbows at all you see is clouds just keep going. You will always find rainbows again.”

That’s what I did and it made all the difference 💜💜✨✨

Children of Cult - now out on Discovery+ UK!

The documentary series I took part in about growing up in The Children of God cult is now out on @discoveryplusuk!

I am proud to stand by these women who are speaking out and telling the world about their stories and their life. This was not easy. But it was necessary.

I am honored to be a part of this documentary, and I hope that sharing my story you can see that there is light after darkness and joy, purpose, power and pleasure after pain.

My past does not define me, but my story is what made me the person I am today, someone who is kind, caring, loyal, joyful, alive, vibrant, and in love with life!

I'm not a survivor, I'm a thriver. Follow me and see for yourself 💜🧚✨