The only person you can heal is yourself. The only thoughts and judgment you can change are your own. The story we tell is the only nightmare we believe. We can heal from anything because our present pain is self inflicted from past pain, attached to beliefs and stories we created around the experience.
Does heading mean you never suffer again? No. As trauma survivors you're allowed to be angry and to forgive. You're allowed to be healed but still get triggered. You're allowed to move on but acknowledge the deep pain that was inflicted on you. You're allowed to go through all those things and still be healed.
Healing is about acknowledging all these things, experiencing the deep pain come up again and again, yet having the tools you need acknowledge the experience and how many times you've relived it. Then forgive yourself for the pain you've endured all this time. This allows you to move past it and come to an understanding with yourself and your life.
If you're waiting for the perfect apology from someone who's wronged you you'll be waiting a long time. The best thing you can do is learn to provide the apology and love to yourself that you never received. But this means acknowledging some hard truths about yourself and your beliefs around the situation that maybe you haven't faced before. The result is peace, letting go of self hatred, letting in self respect, boundaries, and dropping that weight you've been carrying around for years that was never yours to carry in the first place.
You can do it! And if you need any extra support, email me at hello@serenakelley.com. I'm here for you.