Addressing the remorseless apologies survivors have received by the cult leaders, my honest feelings about my parents, and a word to those who choose to blame victims rather than the perpetrators.
It's never easy to talk about my personal life. Many people have assumed things about me but never asked. I hope this video clears up any misconceptions and shows that like others, I still battle with my demons every day. But, because of my healing journey, I have the tools and support I need to get me through, keep going, and keep growing.
There is one thing I would like to clarify in this video. While yes, at times it feels like it would be easier if my parents were dead, in doing Byron Katie's "The Work", I need to ask myself the four questions:
1. Is it true? At times it feels like it
2. Can I absolutely know this is true? No, I cannot. There is no way for me to know if my life would be easier, I can only assume
3. Who am I with this thought? Someone who assumes she knows what's best for her life and the life of others, who tries to control outcomes and becomes stressed, bitter and resentful.
4. Who am I without this thought? Peaceful, free, someone who is not trying to control the outcome and understands that everything is happening exactly as it should.
I truly do not know what's best for my life, and this is important for me to emphasize. We think we know what's best for us, but in hindsight, so many things we thought were good for us turned out to be wrong, and vice versa.
The things I teach others and talk about are the things I always apply to my own life, and this is a great example.
