Time and again I see “armchair warriors”, speaking from the sidelines, giving feedback and advice, calling people names & spewing hate. You guys, these people do not matter.
Brené Brown elegantly articulated that when we receive feedback, focus on the feedback from those who are or have been in the arena.
Research and qualifications are great, but have they actually been there taking risks, doing deep healing work, going into the deepest, darkest places of their soul, walking through, coming out the other side and speaking out like you are? If not, they have no business telling you what you can and can't do, and you have no business listening to them.
I always ask my coaches and mentors what's their experience “in the arena”. One of my mentors told me, "If anyone comes at you who hasn't done the work, tell them to take a seat. You wouldn't take life advice from them, so why take criticism?" This was some of the best advice I received last year.
Everyone I've learned from has been in the arena. Everyone I take advice from has been where I've been, and going where I want to go. These people know what it's like to walk through the fire, lose friends and family along the way, but come out stronger than before, with a renewed sense of life and purpose.
I'm not interested in your opinion, feedback, or armchair advice unless I ask. Unless you too have have stood naked on your mountain, barring your soul to the world...unless you've been in that arena, I don't care what you have to say about me and my life.
I can say this because I've been through the fire, I'm in the arena, I know what it takes to get here and I can tell who hasn't gone down that road.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” ~ President Theodore Roosevelt