The amount of people that still think I'm traveling with a dude, or someone that is secretly taking my photos, or that I'm only in places where I have friends/know others is hilarious.
Sure, there are times I'm unsure of where to stay. I have to be careful as a solo female traveler, but it doesn't deter me from getting out and exploring the world.
Last year when I heard about the murder of Gabi Petito on SM, I was camped in the desert in the above photo. The thought crossed my mind that maybe I should move. Maybe I wasn’t safe. Maybe there was a serial killer in this desert. Ridiculous thoughts I would've never considered had I not known about it the murder beforehand.
Then I remembered that this girl’s situation had nothing to do with mine. her story is not mine, her life is not mine, her circumstances are not mine. So why was I afraid? I chose in that moment to stay in the spot I was, and I would have missed the incredible sights and adventures the next day if I chickened out and left to a "safer" spot.
We've been so programmed as females in society to stay in one place, not explore or go out on our own. That everything is dangerous and out to kill us. That we're not safe without a man.
Sure, there are risks. But we risk our lives everyday driving in our car to go to the store. If I had listened to everyone who told me to stay home the past 2 years, I would still be in the same Austin apartment I lived in for ten years. I would've never gone to Asia, driven across the U.S, stayed in cabins in remote areas & seen friends around the country.
Even now as I prepare for my next trip, people are asking if I know anyone there or if I'm going to see someone. No, I don't know anyone in that country, and most of the time I don’t speak the language of that country either. I just go and learn on the fly. that’s the beauty of traveling. That’s the beauty of freedom and the beauty of taking risks.
Stop letting all the fear mongering on the news affect you. Stop letting other's fears affect you. Turn off the TV. For real. Just stop watching the news. You will see how little it really affects you when you step away from the brainwashing and just live your life. Yes, there will always be others suffering. But how do you expect to help them when you won't even help yourself? Put yourself first. There is no shame in it.
Then get outside and go do something you've always wanted to but have been too scared to. 💚💜💙
How does fear rule your life?
Identifying the areas where fear holds me back, and what I’m doing about it
Who do you take criticism from? The armchair warriors or those in the arena with you?
Time and again I see “armchair warriors”, speaking from the sidelines, giving feedback and advice, calling people names & spewing hate. You guys, these people do not matter.
Brené Brown elegantly articulated that when we receive feedback, focus on the feedback from those who are or have been in the arena.
Research and qualifications are great, but have they actually been there taking risks, doing deep healing work, going into the deepest, darkest places of their soul, walking through, coming out the other side and speaking out like you are? If not, they have no business telling you what you can and can't do, and you have no business listening to them.
I always ask my coaches and mentors what's their experience “in the arena”. One of my mentors told me, "If anyone comes at you who hasn't done the work, tell them to take a seat. You wouldn't take life advice from them, so why take criticism?" This was some of the best advice I received last year.
Everyone I've learned from has been in the arena. Everyone I take advice from has been where I've been, and going where I want to go. These people know what it's like to walk through the fire, lose friends and family along the way, but come out stronger than before, with a renewed sense of life and purpose.
I'm not interested in your opinion, feedback, or armchair advice unless I ask. Unless you too have have stood naked on your mountain, barring your soul to the world...unless you've been in that arena, I don't care what you have to say about me and my life.
I can say this because I've been through the fire, I'm in the arena, I know what it takes to get here and I can tell who hasn't gone down that road.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again... who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” ~ President Theodore Roosevelt