Survival of the Fittest vs. Survival of the Nurtured

“We are not the survival of the fittest, we are the survival of the nurtured. Those who are nurtured best, survive best.” ~Louis Cozolino

Louis Cozolino is an attachment scientist and professor of psychology at Pepperdine University. He says that nurturing is the key to survival, and without it we carry a lack of trust, empathy and compassion into future relationships.

Many of us didn’t grow up in a nurturing environment, and because of that, we have to learn to nurture ourselves. No one is coming to save us, but the good news is that it’s never too late to learn how to nurture and create secure attachments for ourselves.

We can learn to self mother and self soothe by practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, and by doing things that made us feel safe, happy and secure as a child. For me, that’s going out in nature daily. 👍👍

Practicing what makes us feel safe helps change our nervous system from anxious and vigilant (fight or flight) to a calmer, connected state of homeostasis.

You’re never too old to nurture yourself!

Own your story. It's the only one you've got.

"Do not live in the shadows of the masters forever. Learn to live in the light of your soul. Life deserves full expression." --Amit Ray

One year ago I chose to step out of the shadows & tell my story of being born in The Children of God cult. Not just born into it, but born as a child celebrity, in the cult founder's home, to parents who were top leaders. I lived my life in the spotlight with books, videos, and stories created about me.

I escaped the cult at 18 I lived my life hiding my identity. I could not deal with the fact that people were hunting my parents & talking about my life like I was an object or cartoon character. I hid and numbed, living a drug-fueled life for years. My hair fell out & I went into pre-menopause from depression & stress. I lived in complete fear of when the next TV or news article would come out about my family.

When I chose to tell my story, stop living in fear of my family name and being "found out," it was the hardest thing I did. I cried many tears as there was no going back to hiding. People judged me, attacked me, and said atrocious things about me. But I'm still here.

People will always have opinions of you & think you should live up to their idea of what they think is right. They will try to correct you & put you down. Fuck all of those people. No one knows your life better than you.

The only opinion that counts is your own. The only beliefs that matter are yours. No one else lived your life and knows your story.

I’ve done the work and I’m still doing the work. I'm on my journey, I'm healing, evolving, and using my life and experiences to help others. What are the ones criticizing doing with theirs?

Your story is yours alone. No one can take it from you unless you allow them to. Nobody owns the monopoly on your voice but you. Own your story and take your power back from those who try to silence or critique you.

I've stepped out of the shadows and away from my self-imposed masters. I have a voice, a story, beliefs, experiences, and choices. I'm living in the light of my own soul. I refuse to be part of the masses and I refuse to be silenced.