The only person you can save is yourself

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The only person you can heal is yourself. The only thoughts and judgment you can change are your own. The story we tell is the only nightmare we believe. We can heal from anything because our present pain is self inflicted from past pain, attached to beliefs and stories we created around the experience.

Does heading mean you never suffer again? No. As trauma survivors you're allowed to be angry and to forgive. You're allowed to be healed but still get triggered. You're allowed to move on but acknowledge the deep pain that was inflicted on you. You're allowed to go through all those things and still be healed.

Healing is about acknowledging all these things, experiencing the deep pain come up again and again, yet having the tools you need acknowledge the experience and how many times you've relived it. Then forgive yourself for the pain you've endured all this time. This allows you to move past it and come to an understanding with yourself and your life.

If you're waiting for the perfect apology from someone who's wronged you you'll be waiting a long time. The best thing you can do is learn to provide the apology and love to yourself that you never received. But this means acknowledging some hard truths about yourself and your beliefs around the situation that maybe you haven't faced before. The result is peace, letting go of self hatred, letting in self respect, boundaries, and dropping that weight you've been carrying around for years that was never yours to carry in the first place.

You can do it! And if you need any extra support, email me at hello@serenakelley.com. I'm here for you.

serena kelley trauma specialist


Why 2020 was my best year yet

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I have to say, that as much as most people hated 2020, in hindsight it was actually a pretty great year for me. It was a year full of personal growth, exploration into alternate ways of life I never before considered, and a huge year of connecting, reconnecting, and disconnecting with various people in my life.

Although my Asia plans totally fell through, I was still able to travel all year, and visit places in a way I never would’ve considered, such as living in the New Mexico desert for five months. All in all I’m in a great place in life. I’ve figured out and learned SO many things about myself that I would’ve never known had it not been for COVID. I know exactly who I am and I’ve never been more aware of caring for myself and my mental health than I have ever before in my life.

It’s been hard to put myself before others because I’ve literally never done that in my life, but now that I’ve spent this year focusing and reassessing what’s important to me, I know how to navigate relationships in my life that are healthy, positive and not codependent. I feel that I’m in a position to handle much more than before and welcome better, stronger, and more valuable relationships for the future.

My word for 2020 was resilience, and I 100% accomplished that and nailed that goal.

I literally have no attachment to any plans for 2021. I’m ready to keep going with the flow and accepting that my plans are not always gonna happen, as sometimes those aren't the right plans for me. I’m also going to continue listening to my own inner voice and guidance, and stop letting other people’s opinions influence my goals and way of life.

Although it was hard at first, I actually wouldn’t change anything about this year. It happened exactly as it was meant to and I’m so grateful for it. Everyone who I connected and reconnected with this year, you were all part of that journey, and I thank you for it.

Whatever happens in 2021, I’m here for it.

One ring to rule them all… My child bride cult ring.

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I was born as a child celebrity in the cult founder David Berg’s compound. He named me, wrote stories about me and I grew up basically promised to him from birth.

At 3 I was taken to David Berg by my own mother and presented as his child bride. Berg gave me a heart shaped ring way too big for my 3 yr old finger. He wrapped tape around the band until it fit, saying the ring was big on purpose so I could wear it forever. I still have the ring to this day and it fits on my pinkie finger.

That is sick. He put that much thought into how he could possess me for the rest of my life, and how he could ensure that the ring would fit me through adulthood. I still have it, and it still does.

The first photo at the top of the page is me wearing that ring as an adult.

Berg systematically broke down children, abused and trafficked them, then had his followers do the same. This was his way to control, a way to satiate his perverted mind that had also been control and abused as a child himself, by his own nanny. His mind was so far gone and so fucked up that he continued to inflict pain on thousands of people, the way pain was inflicted on him in his childhood.

What’s that saying again…hurt people hurt people, healed people heal people.


I still have the ring, yes. I keep in my possession, no one will ever know where, I don’t wear it but I also don’t feel the need to burn it. This ring is part of my story now, it’s part of my power and part of my path. It’s not Berg’s, and it never will be.

In the video on my previous post, I talk about being trafficked as a child in the infamous sex cult The Children of God, aka The Family.

Yes, trafficking is a harsh word. We think of children being grabbed off the street and chained to a bed and all kinds of horrible things happening to them. But if you look at the definition of child trafficking online, it paints a different picture.

The definition of child trafficking is the illegal movement of children for forced labor or sexual exploitation.

When I first read this definition, I was floored, because that literally described my life. If I could sum up my life in one sentence, it would literally be that.

So, I embarked on an even deeper healing journey, to learn more about child trafficking and all its nuances that we typically wouldn’t associate it with. Since then, I’ve talked to many of my fellow survivors about our childhood, and we’ve all slowly come to terms with the fact that yes, we were in fact, trafficked. It’s a hard pill to swallow at first, but something important when to acknowledge about our lives.

Photo info:

  1. To the left is a photO of me at two years old, shortly before I received the ring on my 3rd birthday.

  2. Below, you can see a photo of Berg, laying a hand on my pregnant mother’s belly, and inside that belly is me.

  3. Second to the bottom is a picture of Berg’s cousin Mary Dear. He wrote a personal note to my mother about naming me after his cousin he was in love with. Mary Dear became my celebrity cult name and it’s in the cult publications.

  4. A recent photo of me now, living life to the fullest and loving every second

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Child trafficking is not always forcibly grabbing someone off the street, throwing them into a van and hiding them in a warehouse. Most of the time it’s far more covert and insidious. It’s low income families exchanging sexual favors for money. It’s sex cults who separate families & travel in the middle of the night to escape authorities looking for them. It’s the family down the street with the creepy uncle who always comes by when the parents are away but the kids are home. Or the family friend who brings money for the kids and the parents let them have special play time with. Or the masked kid walking down the street with the man grabbing their arm just a bit too forcefully.

These things are happening today all around us. Maybe to you or someone you know. This is a pandemic in our country of massive proportions and it’s only getting worse through generations. Research child trafficking in your area. The results may shock you.

Child Trafficking and why I'm talking about it


Child Trafficking and why I'm talking about it

In this video I explain why I'm talking about child trafficking, provide stats, why we should care, and my personal experience being trafficked in the sex cult The Children of God, something I've never talked about publicly before.

I'll continue to speak about this topic and supply as much credible information I can, and tips on how to look out for trafficked children and what you can do about it.

Why I stopped hating women

It wasn’t the women who were the issue…it was me.

serena kelley writer trauma specialist

I used to have this story in my head that I didn't get along with females, they were always in "competition" with me, they were bitches, not to be trusted, etc. All crap based on past experiences. Of course, what happened? The same females kept popping up in my life, reinforcing my negative beliefs.

I finally realized that I was the one that needed to change. While yes, I've been burned by female friends in the past and bullied while growing up, holding on to these negative memories only invited more of the same into my life.

It was only when I stopped judging and being jealous of other women did I start to find my tribe. I reconnected with old friends, let some old ones go, and in doing so found new ones with the space it created in my life.

I've connected with women both in person and online and it's been the most welcome surprise of the year. Best of all, I fully support them and they me.

Your tribe is out there, you just gotta be willing to go out and find it. Start with letting go of some old beliefs--maybe even some old friendships--in order to make space for new and better ones to find you.

If you wanna walk naked in the woods with someone else's dog, collect turkey feathers thinking it's from a hawk, do cartwheels on a main road with a gun strapped to you, climb a canyon everyday and take a full moon bath covered in mud, that's A-ok! The best part is, there are others who do the same.

Find your tribe and your sisterhood. Start supporting women and seeing them as allies rather than competition. Surround yourself with females that support and inspire you. And watch how fast your circle grows.

"Because there’s one thing stronger than magic. Sisterhood." ⭐⭐