That time I forgot my passport...

My disaster of a trip to Berlin…and what I discovered

I was halfway to the airport on my way to Berlin when I realized I left my passport at home.

HOW is this possible, I thought, in total shock.

This is an amateur move that’s never happened to me before. As a seasoned traveler who’s been on hundreds of flights to over 40 countries, it should never happen. What is going on?

While past me would have been sooo stressed, freaking out, upset about losing my non refundable Airbnb and flight, today I felt surprisingly calm about the whole thing.

That’s because travel taught me an invaluable lesson. Go with the flow. Everything is happening as it’s meant and there is always another way.

As someone who struggles with anxiety, getting in my head, imaginary arguments with myself or others, and always planning for the worst, losing a flight would be worse case scenario for me.

But instead, I went with it. I released my travel plans to the universe, accepting that if my flight left before I made it to the gate, then how great I can go home and get more work done for my business. How great I’ll save money on hotels and eating out.

I also didn’t give up and tell the driver to go home. I was going to try. My flight leaves in 15 minutes and I’m not even at the airport yet. But I’m 5 minutes away. You never know.

Security had a long line. I knew I needed to ask for help and I STRUGGLE asking for help cause, anxiety. But there was no way I’d make the fight if I stood in line silent.

So I asked the guard to skip the line, showed him my ticket and he led me to the front. He didn’t even speak, just motioned for me to follow him and that was that.

I smiled calmly at the two frazzled moms in front of me folding up their strollers, digging for their liquids as their children screamed. Every minute I waited behind them was a minute lost making my flight.

And I still didn’t know what gate it was.

I got through security, ran through duty free to the departure monitors. I’m not familiar with the Porto airport yet but I know there are over 40 gates so it could be by gate 1 or gate 40.

It was gate 35 and I was at gate 33.

I ran through the airport, sweating away in the warm Porto air with my Berlin winter clothes on. Gate 35 was much further than I thought, I had to pass a whole new section of duty free.

I got to the gate 5 minutes before departure and to my surprise, the flight was still boarding. So I stood in line to board, the 2nd to last person on the plane.

I made it to the plane, expecting major drama with my carry on luggage. If you’re last typically you have to put it in cargo or in a completely different area than your seat.

Whatever, I’m here, it’ll work out.

And there it was, one tiny space in the overhead bin right by my seat. If you’ve flown with carry on you know, this never happens. Overhead bins are always packed on full flights and stragglers have to release their luggage to the cargo gods. Yet here’s a space waiting for me.

I put my bag up and sat down, a sweaty mess. How did I make this flight? I was 15 minutes from the airport when I realized I forgot my passport. Traffic was terrible getting back home and back out of town.

I could not believe it, yet also, I could.

It wasn’t luck, it was surrender. Surrender to go with the flow, that missed flights and non refundable Airbnbs are part of travel, and my plans may not be the Universe’s plans.

Oh well.

Mindset is key to travel. You have to keep a positive mindset, be open to abrupt change and remain calm, polite, and respectful to others. I could’ve freaked out with the security guard. I could’ve rolled my eyes at the moms.

But I just smiled, knowing I came this far and I would keep going. And keep going I did. All the way to Berlin.

Travel teaches you so much, but especially how insignificant your plans are in the grand scheme of things. When you stay open to the universe and its signs, you never know the hidden options you will see.

Does this experience sound familiar? A total disaster of trip. Unnecessarily stressful.

Have you struggled with lost plans, trip delays, annoying people and airport drama? Does stepping into an airport fill you with dread cause you’re anticipating all the stressful lines and what could go wrong?

If so, my free webinar is for you. Learn to travel the world with a 9-5 without stress and chaos, because you have a solid plan in place that will help you reach your destination. And if you don’t, you will also have the skills and mindset to deal with the aftermath if your plans go to awry.

The Universe will always support you, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.

Sign up now at stan.store/serkelley and get on the list. We meet Wednesday, November 1st at 10 AM!

How to turn your stressors into strengths

I have been struuuuggggggling lately.

Not happy about where I'm at in life, stressed about not finding a place to live and a bit lost as to whether I even want to settle down or keep traveling.

All that stress and worry has affected my health. I've developed multiple health issues that could turn more serious if not attended too soon.

One of the main things I've struggled with from my childhood trauma is extreme anxiety and chronic stress. This is from me constantly trying to predict where danger will come from next so I could protect myself.

When you're in a constant state of fight or flight this affects everything from digestion, ability to focus, immunity, mental health, sleep, social life and...breath.

I feel my body tensing and not breathing. I see myself not eating and resorting back to caffeine to keep me going, making it even worse as that wrecks my adrenals and wreaks havoc on my body and digestive system.

When I'm in a downward spiral like this, one of the things that helps to get me out this funk is gratitude. And there is always so much to be thankful for!

I'm thankful for my family that has houses I can stay in when I get back to Texas. I have an amazing vehicle that allows me to travel the country and gives me no issues whatsoever. I have a healthy body that moves, can get up in the morning and heals quickly from disease. I have friends and family who support me. I have income I can rely on. And, how exciting that I don't have a home! The world is open to me and I can do and go wherever I want.

Turning stressors around to something beautiful is so key when you are going through hard times. I mean, how cool I don’t have anywhere to live, the entire world is open to me and I can go wherever I want!

The next time you've got a stressful issue or in a trauma spiral like I am, use Byron Katie's 4 questions to turn it around.

Ask yourself:
Is it true
Can I absolutely be sure it’s true
Who I am with this thought
Who am I without this thought
Now change the thought around

This technique works and will help put you into a better mental space right away. Try it while taking some deep breaths, and let me know how it goes.

Anxiety....how to spot it and what to do about it

Identifying the signs of anxiety, plus 3 easy steps to stop a panic attack! #2 is key!

Mastin Kipp once said "Anxiety, depression, and stress are all socially acceptable terms for unhealed emotional trauma”, and I completely agree with him. These days it’s normal and acceptable to say you’re under a huge amount of stress. In fact, that can even be considered a “good” thing in our society, as that implies you are busy, working hard and taking on a lot of responsibilities.

But since when has being stressed and over working been considered a good thing? Well, probably since people didn’t want to talk about trauma and acknowledge that they have outstanding issues in their life that need to be taken care of. But rather than face them head on, they chose to bury themselves in a pile of work, stressing out about other things like relationships, jobs, finances, family, etc, all as a way to mask what’s really going on.

The problem is, with any sort of unhealed trauma, big or small, you are far more likely to develop chronic depression and anxiety. It’s a vicious cycle. You stay busy and get stressed in order not to face your trauma. But then you develop chronic stress, anxiety, and depression, BECAUSE of your unhealed trauma. That’s a massive conundrum that can be easily avoided if we were to acknowledge certain hard truths about ourselves.

When you don't feel safe, when you have anxiety and feel threatened, you are experiencing trauma. A clear sign of anxiety is when you experience a panic attack. This is when your heart starts racing and your breath gets shallow and fast. Chronic panic attacks from anxiety are usually a byproduct of unhealed trauma. In order to heal the anxiety, you must heal your trauma first.

I experienced my first REAL panic attack while living out in the desert in New Mexico. I had no TV and limited internet, no cell phone service. I had to face certain things about myself that I was able to hide easily while living in Austin surrounded by friends, technology, family, and fun. When my breathing got shallow and began crying uncontrollably, I knew there was something deep within me that I had refused to accept. And that was when I had to acknowledge that I suffered from extreme anxiety.

Like depression, you sometimes don’t know you have it. I’m a highly functioning trauma survivor. I’ve held corporate jobs with six figure salaries in fast paced environments for 13 years. But behind all that I was dead inside. In 2012 when I worked from home, I rarely left my house, usually only to get groceries or drive to the park. The rest of the time I was sitting in bed eating ice cream and watching TV shows. Only years later did I realize I was suffering from severe depression.

My anxiety was a bit more sneaky. I’ve always been a “worrier” preparing for the worst and always imagining the worst case scenarios. Little did I realize that my body was living in constant overdrive and tension. My digestive system and adrenals were from the constant tension with my anxiety. Because of that, I didn’t absorb minerals or vitamins well at all. My hair started falling out because of it, and the lack of blood flow to my brain.

Of course, on the outside I seemed as normal as ever. No one knew what was going on. When you’re a high-functioning trauma survivor, no one sees that part. And you’ll know if you are one or not because when you tell others about what you’ve been through or what you’re suffering from, they’ll say, “But you always SEEMED fine.” Yup, that’s why they call us high-functioning.

Once I realized how my anxiety and panic attacks were brought on, I was able to start being more aware of my emotions and thoughts, which enabled me to prepare myself more for when a possible anxiety attack would come on. This was the best way to protect myself and literally help my body recover. I now know when I’m carrying tension, where, and how to stop it.

It’s so important to remember that even though your brain may not remember the initial trauma, or what brought on your anxiety in the first place, your body does. It will throw you into a panic when in a situation where similar emotions of vulnerability, loss of power and autonomy are present, like the initial trauma. It’s important to start being more aware of your reaction to uncontrollable situations or scenarios, as that can help you start pinpointing the source of your anxiety.

The best thing to do when you start becoming cognizant of your anxiety is to ask yourself when you first felt these emotions. If you dig deep enough, you’ll most likely recall a time from your childhood when you felt hopeless, alone, and afraid. This will allow you to go directly to the source of your trauma, and work with a specialist like me in order to heal that emotional wound and release the trauma bond from that event to your anxiety.

The trauma we are suffering right now due to COVID-19 may seem insignificant, but it's happening to us. We're all experiencing feelings of hopelessness, powerless, and a loss of autonomy. If you notice you're becoming more anxious or are experiencing symptoms similar to a panic attack, don't worry! You are having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.

There may be a lot of things you have to work on post-pandemic and it's ok to acknowledge there is a huge possibility you may never go "back to normal" again. That's ok! Normal is subjective, and as autonomous human beings, it's our right to evolve and grow throughout life. We can create a new normal, a new life, and new structures! Trying to go back to the way things were will only frustrate us more.

If this idea creates anxiety for you, or if any other situation in your life leads you to shortness of breath and panic attack symptoms, there's a remedy for that! Below is an easy, 4-step prescription to calm a panic attack within five minutes, written by #AmenClinics:

1. Breathe! Take slow, deep breaths to boost oxygen to your brain to regain control over how you feel.

2. Don’t leave. If you leave wherever you are, you’ll start to associate that place with panic, and you’ll give it power over you. - THIS IS KEY!!

3. Write down your thoughts. If your thoughts are distorted, talk back to them.

4. Take calming supplements or medications if needed.

---Remember, this is the last step to be used only if the first 3 aren’t effective.

Remember that you will be ok. You will be fine. You will get through this, you will survive. You are safe, you are protected, you are loved.