It's ok to be wrong sometimes

Learning to accept when you’re wrong…and that your views can change over time

I had an interesting experience recently. A super woke channel accidentally promoted a video made by the cult I grew up in, The Children of God. This video was promoted in positive way, giving credit to its apocalyptic theme as “foretelling” of things to come.

When my comment on the video went unanswered, I sent a DM explaining that this video was made by an abusive cult that trafficked children. All children in the video were underage, filmed at a massive compound in Japan with 300 members. I know cause I was there.

Thankfully, I did get a response and they agreed to take the video down, but adding after that they “didn’t like how I communicated the info” to them. Well, I wouldn’t like it either if someone told me the video I posted to push my agenda came from an abusive cult. I’d be pretty embarrassed, actually.

But this experience did give me something to ponder. No matter how woke we are, no matter how much we know about gender, race, the pineal gland, ascension, or politics, we always have something new to learn. We’ll still be wrong about things, or believe information from sources we did not thoroughly research or know where it came from.

And you know what, that’s ok. That’s life. It’s OK to be wrong. It’s OK to change your beliefs. It’s OK to believe something 100%, then realize it was wrong. It’s OK to be checked by others and to learn from them. Yes, realizing your beliefs may not have been the right ones does sting. I’ve swallowed some big truth pills recently when I realized what I’ve been conditioned to believe my entire life was completely wrong. But accepting it, learning from it, & moving on is what matters most.

I’m grateful for this experience that reminded me to listen to other viewpoints, as hard as it may be. I don’t have all the answers, nobody does. But if someone has taught me something, I always try to acknowledge that, and allow myself the grace to change my opinion, change my belief, and understand that I’m a dynamic human being that is constantly changing and evolving.

We are ever changing humans that are here to grow, learn, and experience everything that life has to offer. Rather than shut out differing opinions, we should try our best to listen, as hard as it may be. Reaching a hand across the table to hear a differing point of view is essential to critical thinking and logic. Embrace the differences, take what is meaningful to you and leave the rest out. You never know what you may learn or where it will take you.

Don't let others get in the way of your plans

Reminiscing on my accidental 8 hour hike in the Idaho mountains in nothing but a bikini and shorts

Recently I was thinking back on a time in 2021 that I accidentally went on an 8 hour round trip hike specifically to swim in a glacier lake at the top of the Sawtooth Mountains.

This hike itself was not an accident, I fully intended to go. It was however, totally last minute and I climbed the 4 hours up in nothing but my tennis shoes, a bikini and a water bottle. Needless to say, I passed many a concerned hiker with all their gear, telling me it's a 4 hour trek up and 4 hours back down and I wasn't dressed appropriately, lol. But I was not deterred.

Sometimes the best experiences are the ones least planned. I was lounging in a hot spring thinking how I'm totally gonna regret this visit to Idaho if I didn't go find and swim in that lake. So I picked up and left.

While yes, hiking one way for 4 hours was not my plan (I initially thought it was a 4 hour TOTAL hike, not 4 hours one way) and I probably would have prepared more, turns out it really wasn’t necessary. The water bottle I had was enough. It was September in Idaho so not hot at all.

Turns out this became one of my favorite days in Idaho. Not only because of the insane beauty 10,000 feet up, but because of the random people I met along the way (many kind and concerned souls, and also another lone hiker on the way down!) and the incredible sights I saw.

I was literally the only person there. There were two lakes, and everyone was headed to the bigger, grandiose one. which means the small lake was completely empty and literally the most peaceful place I had been to on my trip. Not to mention the glacier water was crystal clear, as you could see the ice from the mountaintops melting in the water below. So I was able to get fresh, pure, glacier water to fill up my depleted water bottle.

People always tell you you can’t do things. They’ll say it’s too dangerous or it’s too risky. "You don't have the right shoes, what about a bear, you'll run out of water, you have a small dog, you'll get ticks," blah blah blah. I don’t listen to them. If I want to do something and it feels good to me, I do it. And those experiences always end up being the best ones.

Do not let other people’s fear deter you from doing what you want. If I had let anyone’s fear of my solo trip around the USA affect me, I would have never left! Instead, it became one of the most incredible 6 months of my life. Thank others for their concern, then move with your life.

See below for more pictures of my solo hike and to see photos of me in my hiking gear 😂

How is this my life?

When you start healing, anything is possible

Sometimes I see photos like this and I'm like, "how is this my life?" Then I remembered that I made this shit happen! Sure, traveling alone in my card for 6 months can be hard, lonely at times, has its ups and downs and for sure way more expensive than anticipated, but the reward I get in experiencing sights like this daily is incomparable and totally worth it!

I wouldn’t trade my travel experiences for anything in the world. I’ve said no to a lot of things this year and left a lot of people/relationships behind in order to put my dream and desires first. Traveling the world but especially exploring this beautiful country has been something I’ve wanted to do for so long, so I stopped waiting and made it happen.

So far the outcome has been totally worth it and I would do this over and over if given the chance. Do not trade your dreams for anyone or anything. Put yourself first. It always pays off and you will never regret it.

What others say about you is not your business

Yes, we’ve heard it before. And no, I don’t think it ever resonated until my recent experience.

If you have a story you know you’re meant to tell, do it, regardless of the criticism.

In the past I’ve criticized others for speaking out. It’s because I knew I wanted to as well, but I wasn't ready yet. When I saw others have the bravery to do it, even though I didn’t necessarily agree with them, I criticized instead. But it was jealousy, plain and simple.

We are all on the same side, there is room for everyone to have a voice. No one person has on the monopoly on any story, niche, or background. I think it’s important to hear so many sides of one event!

Those who are brave enough to come forward with their story risk losing friends, family, and loved ones. I know I will support anyone else who chooses this same path.

Maya Angelou said if you’re looking for rainbows but all you see are clouds, remember that thunderstorms will always run out of rain.

“Take whatever you can from those who came before you. Those are the rainbows in your clouds. Remember If you are searching for rainbows at all you see is clouds just keep going. You will always find rainbows again.”

That’s what I did and it made all the difference 💜💜✨✨

What is the deal with "letting go"?

Breaking down the art of letting go…and why it’s so misinterpreted

Throughout my healing process I came across a lot of words, quotes, coaches, spiritual teachers, etc, talk about the importance of "letting go", and if you don't, then you have "resistance" to it. Hell, I even started talking about letting go before I fully understood the concept.

Here's why the term “letting go” immediately triggers you and turns people off when used by others as spiritual bypassing or by those who do not know how to truly implement it.

Letting go is hard for anyone who has experienced trauma. Their whole life has been out of control, why would they let go again? When you tell a trauma survivor to let go, that is probably the worst thing you can do, as you're telling them to let go of everything they worked to get HOLD OF in their recovery. 

Letting go is hard if you've grown up with a strict religion and the idea of a scary god. Or if you've let go and put your trust in others before, such as those in power, and it backfired. For these and other reasons, using the term letting go is meaningless.

So what is letting go, really? There are many forms, but I am speaking of challenges in life, the spiritual practice of appropriate action, when you choose next steps for a specific situation. 

Letting go is trusting that you are supported by something greater than yourself. That you will find the courage to act at the right time, but not be attached to any outcome or demand a specific result. Letting go does not mean letting go of life, from now to infinity, floating around in time and space. No. It simply means you trust you are protected and guided, just enough to put one foot in front of the other. You do not need clarity on what to do, only that you will do whatever it takes to care for yourself first.

This is how we live in peace, in flow, and in harmony with ourselves and our intuition. But, how do we get there? How do you safely let go? What is the process? In my 39 years of life, I've never had someone explain it clearly until I came across Linda Howe, who provides such a simple method that I cannot believe no one has articulated this before. 

Linda explains that the safest way to practice the art of letting go is to put your trust in something dependable first. This could be anything from the cycles of the moon, the power that causes seeds to sprout, planets in orbit, the sun to rise, your vital organs working. This is something tangible, and something reliable. 

You do not have to put your trust in a higher power or The Divine, it has nothing to do with spirituality, it just has to be meaningful to you. Think about what that is. Waves crashing on a beach? Birds flying in the sky? Literally anything that is a constant in your life, and when you think about it, there are many. It's possible to let go into something you trust. 

When you find that constant, then begin to relax into the idea that there is a power for good at work in your life, and you can trust it without a second thought. Learn to trust what you can see, before trusting what you can't see. This is the safest way for your nervous system to begin to relax. Then, only then, can you start to let go. Eventually, you won’t have to keep letting go, because you’ll always be in flow, you won’t be swimming upstream, pushing through, and white knuckling it through life. You will just be.

Then, you can start all that other spiritual stuff. Try it, and see how it works for you.

Children of Cult - now out on Discovery+ UK!

The documentary series I took part in about growing up in The Children of God cult is now out on @discoveryplusuk!

I am proud to stand by these women who are speaking out and telling the world about their stories and their life. This was not easy. But it was necessary.

I am honored to be a part of this documentary, and I hope that sharing my story you can see that there is light after darkness and joy, purpose, power and pleasure after pain.

My past does not define me, but my story is what made me the person I am today, someone who is kind, caring, loyal, joyful, alive, vibrant, and in love with life!

I'm not a survivor, I'm a thriver. Follow me and see for yourself 💜🧚✨