Horse Therapy...It works!

My time staying At a horse farm in Alabama

My whole life I’ve been connected to horses.

In Brazil we lived next to multiple horse farms and would go riding all the time. I grew up around them, cheered when the babies born and cried for days when others died in floods and landslides. We rode them in the mountains, by lakes, rivers, and on beaches. I named the horses I grew close to and kept snippets of their hair with me.

As I got older and the responsibilities of adulthood took over, I grew separate from them. I lived in cities, replacing horse riding with college, coffee shops and wine bars. Still though, the yearning feeling of wanting to ride a horse on the beach again, feeling free with the wind in my hair and sensation of flying lingered in my mind.

Now, on this trip throughout the USA, I was able to start my journey at a beautiful horse ranch in Alabama. I watched them run through the fields every day, took work breaks to walk around the grounds and sit in the grass with them, and rode them in the afternoons.

This experience made me realize that I am still deeply connected to these magnificent animals. Horses make me calm, make me cry, help me through emotional ups and downs in my life and teach me things I wouldn’t have learned otherwise. They are one of my power animals and my guides. I will forever love and be in constant awe of them.

I’m so grateful for this time I get to spend at a horse ranch in Alabama, just me, the horses and nature. There's a reason horses are used as therapy and for healing deep wounds. This year I’ve battled some of my darkest demons and also experienced some of my highest highs. But I would not have been able to do any of it if it weren’t for these animals around me.

GOOD NEWS!!! Change is here!!

Changing it up, no more talk only about trauma, trafficking, and sadness. I’m living life my way, in full integrity with myself, what I want to do, and my happiness. Get ready for change!

GOOD NEWS! CHANGE IS HERE!

The past four years I’ve done deep, dark, healing work on myself. I’ve come out of the shadows, told my story, faced scrutiny, vulnerability, and more.

But now it’s time to pivot my life and everything in it.

I’ll always be on life's journey, growing and getting to the next level. But on this level, it’s time to step out of the pain and into pleasure.

I will always share my story as a former cult child celebrity. I will always have things I need to heal, trauma I need to address and issues to work out. I will still support the fight against child trafficking.

BUT…there is so much more to life that that! On the other side of healing, is joy. And that’s how I feel now. I feel joyful, peaceful, calm, and FREE.

Beyond the healing & tears is a moment I knew it would click: I am healed. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. I am whole, happy, thriving and able to be who I am without apology--a little weird, a little crazy, a little naked, and definitely not afraid.

Beyond the healing journey is the healed. Beyond the pain is pleasure, & that time is now.

You know you’re healed when you’ve transitioned from shadows, darkness, and sadness, to joy, passion, and pleasure. You’re healed when what haunted you no longer has power over you. I’m healed because I don’t care to talk about my past again. It doesn’t control me.

Friends, consider this my resignation letter. I resign from talking about things that no longer bring me pleasure. I resign from trauma, trafficking, and despair. It has its place, yes. But that place is not in my life 24/7.

Most of all I resign from the self-imposed prison I’ve locked myself in. The key was in my hand all along, I just needed to give myself permission to leave. So I’m putting the key in the door, turning the handle, and letting myself out.

I don’t have to purify or cleanse my body from anything, because I like being dirty. Get. Ready.

How to take your power back

Grieve your losses, close the chapters in your life that no longer serve you, and get ready to MOVE ON.

So many times we're afraid to take the next step. We talk ourselves out of it and keep doing the same things, stuck in the same cycle, learning the same lessons, over and over and over again.

But not this time. Today is the day to let go of the resistance of letting go. Start saying no, step into your power, and let the people who no longer serve you in life fall away. Stop playing small, stop agreeing just to agree and pretending you are interested when you're not. Stop the fake smiling. Be angry. Be direct, be unapologetic.

You need to stand your ground before you can proceed forward. This is your ultimate test. Leave behind what no longer serves you, and go on your own path.

But grieve it. Grieve the lost relationships that may never be again. In doing so, know that you're making progress on both sides. It's a gift both to you and the ones you left along the way. You can't get to the next level if you're holding each other back.

The thing is, you're already at the next level. The door is open. All you need to do is walk through and keep walking. You have all the tools you need, you just need to act.

Take your power back. Sing. Say no. Have boundaries and be selfish. Do all the things you're scared to do. Say all the things you're scared to say. The only one holding you back is you.

How does fear rule your life?

Identifying the areas where fear holds me back, and what I’m doing about it

A message to myself, passed to you.

These were words to myself for my own healing, which have since helped countless others in their healing journey. I share them with you now.

You're not broken, you’re blocked. Throughout your journey you’ve run into obstacle after obstacle blocking your path, until they prevented you from going further.

This may seem like the end of the road, but it’s not, you just haven’t seen all your options. That’s because obstacles are detours in the right direction. When a door closes, there is always a window. Doors lead to the ground. Windows lead to the sky, and the sky has endless possibilities.

Right now you’re looking around you, trying to see what other doors and passageways are open. But you’re not looking up, at the windows. That’s your way out.

You carry pain, which you’ve accepted as a part of life. But pain is not just a part of life, it’s LIVING. You have lived. You’ve known grace, sorrow, loss, love, joy, pain, and so much more. Pain is a blessing, because it means you're alive. If you don’t feel pain, you aren’t living. You aren’t alive.

But pain is exhausting when you can't let it go. You struggle to carry it, dragging it with you in life. What you don’t know is how to transmute that pain into power, purpose, & pleasure. When you do that, you’ll be unstoppable. You’ll feel alive for the very first time.

You may not feel alive now from the weight you carry, but you can let that go. I know because I did. I embraced the pain & allowed it to transform me. It made me stronger, more capable, kind, loving, and caring for myself & those along my path. But most of all, I learned to honor myself, first and foremost.

Perhaps our paths will cross one day, or perhaps you were meant to read this now to help you feel supported, strong, loved, & empowered. Perhaps you were meant to see what being alive, thriving, and healed really is. My scars are always there, but the wound has healed.

Healing allows you to evolve into the person you want to be, someone YOU will be proud of. When that happens you will know, because what’s inside will finally match what everyone already sees on the outside: a healed, whole, complete person. One who’s alive, joyful, peaceful, calm, and free. Free to be you, in any way you please. Free from the constrains of societal pressures and worries of other people’s opinions.

Free to harness the power to heal yourself.

You create the world you live in

Feeling stressed, depressed, angry, anxious, and confused about the state of the world? Read this.

You do not have to subscribe to the fear mongering going on. You do not have to choose a side. You do not have to prove to anyone how woke you are. You do not have to worry about others shaming you when you don't engage. You do not have to believe everything you're hearing or seeing.

Take care of yourself first. Turn off the TV. Get off social media. Go take a bath. Stop getting angry about things you can't control. It's just. Not. Worth it.