How dance reconnects you to your body

Healing through movement - part 2

Healing from sexual trauma requires not only conscious but subconscious efforts, if you want truly break out of the self-imposed prison your brain put you in to protect you.

When we experience sexual trauma, our brain dissociates. This enables us to not only “deal” with the trauma, but disconnect so we don’t fully experience the horror of what our bodies experience.

The problem is, we stay dissociated & become completely disconnected to ourselves and bodies. We don’t fully feel anything anymore…joy, sorrow, excitement, pain. You don’t know how to be truly alive as you are not fully there, in your conscious mind and body.

What helped me get to a place of being comfortable back in my body and sexuality, was movement. This can look different to each person, but for me it was dancing. In my 20s I spent most of the decade dancing away in clubs. While this was not the healthiest way to move emotions through my body, it was what worked for me at the time. I credit it as actually being a big source of healing & reacquaintance to my body, and for this I’ll never be ashamed of it.

These days I often practice hip movements like this. Grounding, isolated moves focused on the pelvic region. Why? It helps get in touch with the parts of your body you’ve ignored because they’ve been violated. It reconnects you to the discarded parts of yourself that were too painful to take notice of before. That’s where dancing comes in. With the reconnection of our bodies with movement…you can heal.

Healing is work, yes, but it doesn’t have to be terrifying, sad and serious all the time. It can be fun, exciting, new, and different. Just approach it like a curious child and think “what can I try today that I haven’t before?” Then go do it!

Other forms of movement for healing include:
- Walking
- Running
- Stretching
- Horseback riding
- Swimming
- Yoga
- Rock climbing
- Biking
- Hiking.. And more!

I want to know… what movement worked for when you were going through something? Comment below!

#mysereneearth #traumarecovery #traumainformed #mypathtohealing #childrenofgod #traumahealing #childrenofgodcult #marydear #dancetherapy #danceitout #dancevibes #movetoheal

How nature became my greatest teacher

I escaped the madness of civilization to learn from nature, our greatest teacher

“Whenever the light of civilization falls upon you with a blighting power…go to the wilderness. The dull business routine, the fierce passions of the market place, the perils of envious cities become but a memory. The wilderness will take hold of you. It will give you good red blood. You will soon behold all with a peaceful soul.”
—George S. Evans, 1904

I posted this poem on my Facebook in 2015 and it came up as a memory today. Little did I know that six years later I would literally follow those words when I packed up my car and drove around the country for six months, staying as far away from civilization and as close to the wilderness as possible. George was right. That trip brought me peace, forever changed my view and understanding of the world and made me realize that as much as we may think we’re all different, as much divisiveness in the world, we are all connected. We are leaves from branches of the same tree, and at the end of the day, we all want the same thing. To be loved and seen.

I ran to the wilderness to escape civilization and find who I truly am. There I found not only myself, but the importance of nature as a great teacher.

Nature taught me the importance of connection. Connection taught me the importance of community, and community taught me the importance of civilization.

So back to civilization I went.

If you haven’t seen my Adventure Travel series on YouTube (40 episodes!!), click on the link in my bio and watch it! The Adventure series is now done but there are many more travel videos ahead!

The value of a beginner's mind

How to approach everything with a beginner’s mindset

The Beginner’s Mind:

“The richness of the present-moment experience is the richness of life itself. Too often, we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we “know” prevent us from seeing things as they really are.

We tend to take the ordinary for granted and fail to grasp the extraordinariness of the ordinary.

To see the richness of the present moment we need to cultivate what has been called “beginner’s mind”, a mind that is willing to see everything as if for the first time.

An open “beginner’s mind” allows us to be receptive to new possibilities and prevents us from getting stuck in the rut of our own expertise, which often thinks it knows more then it does.

No moment is the same as any other. Each is unique and contains possibilities. “Beginner’s mind” reminds us of this simple truth.”

—Full Catastrophe Living, using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. —Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D.

Working with horses the more and more I realize how little we truly know about ourselves and the world. The best approach I’ve learned that works both with horses and in life, is to enter everything with a beginner’s mind.

Leave your past experiences and beliefs at the door, and approach things with childlike curiosity. This allows me to truly grasp the extraordinariness of the ordinary, which then leads to new possibilities, mindsets and experiences.

No moment is the same as the other, We’re unique beings living on the same earth but going through completely different experiences and interpretations. Leave your expertise at the door and try approaching live with a beginner’s mind.

#extraordinaryordinary #extraordinaryordinaryjoy #beginnersmind #mysereneearth #extraordinaryordinarylife

What I wish I could tell my younger self

Looking back on why I spent so much time worrying about completely useless things

There are so many things I wish I could tell my younger self. The wounded child. Shy, introverted, scared, emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually abused. The child bullied for her looks, a tall skinny white girl in the land of curvaceous Latinas in Central and South America. Who grew up thinking she was ugly, told she looked like a boy, so acted like a boy. Whose friends scrawled on the back of her shirt "Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?"

I wish I could tell my younger self it'll all be ok. Like, seriously. It’ll be ok. You’re learn that you’re worthy of love and respect. Also, you were never ugly, you just needed to believe you were beautiful, and fuck whatever others say, for real. Confidence will be your greatest accessory and no one will make you feel inferior without your consent. You will love every part of yourself, and from that love, you will learn to love others.

But seriously little Serena, you were never ugly! Just because people made you feel that way does not make it true. Don’t take everything and everyone so seriously. Also you’ll be naked a lot in your older life so chill out with the body issues. It’s all. In. Your. Head.

Who else wishes they could go back and tell themselves a simple message like this? I tell my inner child this all the time. When those seeds of doubt and comparison creep in, return to yourself, you source. It does not have to be hard. You don't need tapping and journaling and pure diets and meditation. Acknowledge the thoughts with compassion, then remind yourself feelings don't make it true. Just because someone said something or made you feel a certain way does not make it so. Fuck them all.

Then go take all the naked photos of yourself that you want.

What growing up in a sex cult taught me - part 1

My new series What Growing up in a Sex Cult Taught me will be documented on this blog and on Instagram!

Me with my first book of Poetry, Sage of the Wild - Fairy Poems of Nature’s Healing

Now available for purchase at: https://stan.store/serkelley/p/sage-of-the-wild

When I made friends after leaving the cult I realized how ill prepared I was for the real world. So many of my friends had wonderful parents who cared about their future, taught them about finances, school, careers. Life lessons that I not only never received, but were discouraged to talk about.

The Children of God was a doomsday child trafficking p**ophile cult. I was raised to believe Jesus was coming back before I was 18 and I would probably die in the endtime, so why bother with education, I was going to die soon anyway. 

Rather than learning life skills, I begged on the streets & sang in restaurants to make money and win as many souls for Jesus before we were whisked away to heaven. 

At times I feel incredibly angry at the insane world I grew up in, & seeing my friends well prepared with parents who taught them life skills and values in order to succeed. Other times I realize I don’t give myself enough credit for building a life literally out of nowhere alone at 18.

Planning my escape from the cult, figuring out how to get a job, taking the GED because I didn’t exist in the USA school system, going to college, working full time, learning what the hell taxes were, what a credit card/bank account was & so much more, a crash course in life at 18. I have no choice but to give myself credit and grace I came this far.

My story is not special. It’s unique, yes, but the process is the same for all of us. We all have trauma we’re dealing with, shit to overcome, adjust & figure out.

Healing is not linear. You don’t reach a point where everything is good and you never struggle again. It’s a lifelong journey to the next phase & the next. This happens to all of us and we have to give ourselves grace.

Think of a time in your life you struggled. Where you felt alone, weren’t sure if you’d make it through, but kept going. You’re alive, right? That means you made it. And if you’re in the thick of it now, keep going. Feelings aren’t final, experiences aren’t forever, and life keeps going.

I’ve written my first poetry book about trauma healing through nature and I’ll be sharing it with you all soon. Stay tuned!

That time I forgot my passport...

My disaster of a trip to Berlin…and what I discovered

I was halfway to the airport on my way to Berlin when I realized I left my passport at home.

HOW is this possible, I thought, in total shock.

This is an amateur move that’s never happened to me before. As a seasoned traveler who’s been on hundreds of flights to over 40 countries, it should never happen. What is going on?

While past me would have been sooo stressed, freaking out, upset about losing my non refundable Airbnb and flight, today I felt surprisingly calm about the whole thing.

That’s because travel taught me an invaluable lesson. Go with the flow. Everything is happening as it’s meant and there is always another way.

As someone who struggles with anxiety, getting in my head, imaginary arguments with myself or others, and always planning for the worst, losing a flight would be worse case scenario for me.

But instead, I went with it. I released my travel plans to the universe, accepting that if my flight left before I made it to the gate, then how great I can go home and get more work done for my business. How great I’ll save money on hotels and eating out.

I also didn’t give up and tell the driver to go home. I was going to try. My flight leaves in 15 minutes and I’m not even at the airport yet. But I’m 5 minutes away. You never know.

Security had a long line. I knew I needed to ask for help and I STRUGGLE asking for help cause, anxiety. But there was no way I’d make the fight if I stood in line silent.

So I asked the guard to skip the line, showed him my ticket and he led me to the front. He didn’t even speak, just motioned for me to follow him and that was that.

I smiled calmly at the two frazzled moms in front of me folding up their strollers, digging for their liquids as their children screamed. Every minute I waited behind them was a minute lost making my flight.

And I still didn’t know what gate it was.

I got through security, ran through duty free to the departure monitors. I’m not familiar with the Porto airport yet but I know there are over 40 gates so it could be by gate 1 or gate 40.

It was gate 35 and I was at gate 33.

I ran through the airport, sweating away in the warm Porto air with my Berlin winter clothes on. Gate 35 was much further than I thought, I had to pass a whole new section of duty free.

I got to the gate 5 minutes before departure and to my surprise, the flight was still boarding. So I stood in line to board, the 2nd to last person on the plane.

I made it to the plane, expecting major drama with my carry on luggage. If you’re last typically you have to put it in cargo or in a completely different area than your seat.

Whatever, I’m here, it’ll work out.

And there it was, one tiny space in the overhead bin right by my seat. If you’ve flown with carry on you know, this never happens. Overhead bins are always packed on full flights and stragglers have to release their luggage to the cargo gods. Yet here’s a space waiting for me.

I put my bag up and sat down, a sweaty mess. How did I make this flight? I was 15 minutes from the airport when I realized I forgot my passport. Traffic was terrible getting back home and back out of town.

I could not believe it, yet also, I could.

It wasn’t luck, it was surrender. Surrender to go with the flow, that missed flights and non refundable Airbnbs are part of travel, and my plans may not be the Universe’s plans.

Oh well.

Mindset is key to travel. You have to keep a positive mindset, be open to abrupt change and remain calm, polite, and respectful to others. I could’ve freaked out with the security guard. I could’ve rolled my eyes at the moms.

But I just smiled, knowing I came this far and I would keep going. And keep going I did. All the way to Berlin.

Travel teaches you so much, but especially how insignificant your plans are in the grand scheme of things. When you stay open to the universe and its signs, you never know the hidden options you will see.

Does this experience sound familiar? A total disaster of trip. Unnecessarily stressful.

Have you struggled with lost plans, trip delays, annoying people and airport drama? Does stepping into an airport fill you with dread cause you’re anticipating all the stressful lines and what could go wrong?

If so, my free webinar is for you. Learn to travel the world with a 9-5 without stress and chaos, because you have a solid plan in place that will help you reach your destination. And if you don’t, you will also have the skills and mindset to deal with the aftermath if your plans go to awry.

The Universe will always support you, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.

Sign up now at stan.store/serkelley and get on the list. We meet Wednesday, November 1st at 10 AM!