When I was in New Mexico away from people, cities, politics, and distractions, it allowed me to figure out who I was, when I most felt like myself, what made me come alive and most importantly, when I felt most connected to my higher self.
There are always areas in our lives where we shine, when we feel most connected and most like ourselves. For me, that's being out in nature without anyone else around. The feeling of total freedom, being connected to mother earth, completely unafraid of anything, is the most profound feeling ever. I thought I was alive before, but I didn't really know what that meant until got rid of all the things I thought I needed to feel that way.
We're all different, and we connect to our deepest self and our hearts in all kinds of ways. I'm curious to hear from all of you: what makes you feel most alive? When do you feel most connected to your highest self? When do you feel most inspired and what contributes to that inspiration? Let me know in the comments below!
Society's skewed version of sexuality
I'm seeing a lot of comments on social media that are, surprisingly but also maybe not surprisingly--almost mocking the fact that Netflix was indicted by the grand jury in Texas for the lewd depiction of children in the show Cuties. People are saying it's not that bad, this is all due to conspiracy theorists and getting blown way out of proportion.
Interestingly enough, some of these people are the ones criticizing me and others for having nudity on their page. Let's just pause for a sec at these ridiculous contradictions and the hypocrisy of it all...
Newsflash! The sexualization of children is NOT normal. Images and film depicting "cute kids" in "cute outfits", shaking their butts and twerking on stage at 9 years old is NOT ok and there are NO circumstances where this is appropriate.
Guess what is normal? A 37 yr old woman who knows herself, doesn't stand for people's bullshit, who is proud of & celebrates her body in its natural form, who has gone through horrendous amounts of sexual abuse and trauma, only to come out the other side perfectly healed with a healthy sense of sexuality, showing off her body in an artful way on social media, just the way she wants to. Shocking? Maybe to some, but certainly not wrong.
I can't believe the state of the world sometimes and its skewed view on sexuality. How anyone can think that a grown woman posting beautiful photos on social media is not OK, while a disgusting show on Netflix with underage twerking children is fine, is beyond me. Something normal and natural like images of women showing their bodies or nursing their children, are censored online all the time, while the sexualization of children remains all over TV and Social Media. Guys, we can do so much better as a nation and so much better together.
Your reaction to other people's actions and what they're doing with their lives says far more about you than the other person. I would suggest we all examine our morals, our beliefs, and our thoughts to see where they are coming from and how they are being influenced. What you find may surprise you.
#nudaisnormal #nakedinnature #sereneearth #skewedperspective #cancelcuties #childabuseawareness #bodybyhiking
Liked or Respected? Can you have both?
I grew up learning to be a people pleaser, punished for using my own voice and questioning cult teachings. So I learned at a young age to keep quiet. Don't rock the boat, stop with the questions, keep quiet if I disagree.
Unfortunately this translated into my adult life. While I'm certainly not a wallflower sitting silently in the corner, I've often found myself silent and not speaking up on extremely controversial issues for fear of going against the majority and being shunned.
I've seen a lot of people these days keeping silent on what's going on simply because they have different views than the majority. On the other hand I've seen a handful of people unafraid to speak their mind & go against the majority to show more than two sides, more than black-and-white, and more than what we're seeing. 😦
I have more respect for those few people than I do for the hundreds of others who aren't saying anything different. It doesn't matter what their beliefs are, they know where they stand and they don't care about the majority. ♥
These people taught me about resilience and toughening up. This doesn't mean hardening my heart, but changing my mindset from appeasing and defending to standing by my convictions and beliefs.
There will forever be a little girl inside of me just wants to be liked and accepted. It may seem easier just being nice, but those days are gone. I learned that I can't always be liked, but I can always be respected. 🌠
So I decided I'd much rather be respected than liked. 💯
Survival of the Fittest vs. Survival of the Nurtured
“We are not the survival of the fittest, we are the survival of the nurtured. Those who are nurtured best, survive best.” ~Louis Cozolino
Louis Cozolino is an attachment scientist and professor of psychology at Pepperdine University. He says that nurturing is the key to survival, and without it we carry a lack of trust, empathy and compassion into future relationships.
Many of us didn’t grow up in a nurturing environment, and because of that, we have to learn to nurture ourselves. No one is coming to save us, but the good news is that it’s never too late to learn how to nurture and create secure attachments for ourselves.
We can learn to self mother and self soothe by practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, and by doing things that made us feel safe, happy and secure as a child. For me, that’s going out in nature daily. 👍👍
Practicing what makes us feel safe helps change our nervous system from anxious and vigilant (fight or flight) to a calmer, connected state of homeostasis.
You’re never too old to nurture yourself!
It's all about YOU!
It's your life, it's your journey, it's your experiences. It's time to make it about you and stop listening to what others have to say about your journey.
One of the surprising effects of trauma recovery is realizing you've been afraid of pretty much everything, as soon as the traumatic experience occurred. This means fear of judgment, of taking risks, doing what you want, of speaking up, setting boundaries, self care, etc.
I used to never speak up, go against the majority or voice my opinions because I was afraid of people getting angry and afraid of conflict. I always did everything to keep the peace at the expense of myself as I was afraid someone else would suffer in my place. This is a huge effect of trauma, but something masked as being "unselfish" or "caring" and we label those who put themselves first as selfish.
You cannot take care of others unless you take care of yourself first. Living a sacrificial life, crucifying yourself to put others first is not how you heal or grow.
I'm so sick of the "it's not about you" gaslighting technique many people use when they see you're finally taking care of yourself and putting yourself first. Narcissistic people will often say this, which, if you're an empath like me, can make you think "am I being selfish?" Then you start backpedaling, getting defensive and respond with "I know, it's about X, not me." You may even change in order to "prove" you know it's not about you. This is gaslighting at its finest.
News flash, it is about you. It's about your healing, your mental health, your life, and your happiness.
I say this because this is the main thing I've been working on this year. Fear of putting myself first. And fear of overcoming my fear, because how will people view the new me? How will they judge me? I needed to stop viewing myself as selfish for putting myself first and get my priorities in order.
Everything you're afraid of is rooted in past trauma. When you break from trauma you heal your fear, because you healed the relationship to the fear. And I can show you how.
Do not be afraid to draw those boundaries. Do not be afraid to be selfish. Do not be afraid of conflict and other people's judgment about how you're healing and living your life. Most of all, do not be afraid to put yourself first because YES, it is about YOU!