Why is it so hard to be happy?

Do you know why it’s hard to be happy? The answer may surprise you

"Do you know why it's so hard to be happy? Because we refuse to let go of the things that make us sad." -- Lupitha Herman

If you're seeing repeating negative patterns in your life, it's because you're hanging onto them. These patterns reinforce the negative beliefs and stories you have about yourself, making it easier to blame your issues on external circumstances, rather than taking responsibility & making changes in your life.

In the book Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton, he says those who've suffered from trauma tend to hang onto fears and stressful memories as a protection mechanism. While not all stress is bad, when our bodies become chronically stimulated by a stress response like sadness, depression, or daily stress, it compromises our health and changes our brain chemistry, resulting in a constant state of fight or flight.

My body was hardwired for stress. I've suffered from chronic stress for years from my childhood growing up in the Children of God cult, constantly in fear from punishment & abuse. This led to severe health issues and chronic anxiety in my adult life.

These days I have to constantly check in with my body as to whether I'm back under my chronic stress pattern. and if so, slowly let go of whatever put me back in that state.

Becoming aware of stress forces me to become aware of what I allow to affect me in life. Usually the things that affect me are things I'm not willing to let go of, in order to continue making excuses for myself, for whatever reason and whatever capacity.

I've had to let go of a lot of stories in my life to find internal peace and happiness. Every time I do, I progress to first understanding what happiness is (hint: it’s not what I initially thought or felt), start feeling that happiness, which leads me to feeling freer, at peace, and most of all without the need to judge, criticize, or put others down to make me feel better.

The key is letting go of your old stories. The things you are hanging on to, that you are addicted to. The excuses, the buts, everything. You have them because they served you once, but not anymore. They may have protected you in the past, but now they're only holding you back.

Those repeating patterns, the chronic state of unhappiness, stress, and annoyance, that's all there because you're allowing it to be there. Once you let go of the things that are making you sad, you'll realize that the only person keeping you trapped in the same vicious cycle, was yourself.

How is this my life?

When you start healing, anything is possible

Sometimes I see photos like this and I'm like, "how is this my life?" Then I remembered that I made this shit happen! Sure, traveling alone in my card for 6 months can be hard, lonely at times, has its ups and downs and for sure way more expensive than anticipated, but the reward I get in experiencing sights like this daily is incomparable and totally worth it!

I wouldn’t trade my travel experiences for anything in the world. I’ve said no to a lot of things this year and left a lot of people/relationships behind in order to put my dream and desires first. Traveling the world but especially exploring this beautiful country has been something I’ve wanted to do for so long, so I stopped waiting and made it happen.

So far the outcome has been totally worth it and I would do this over and over if given the chance. Do not trade your dreams for anyone or anything. Put yourself first. It always pays off and you will never regret it.

It IS about you!

Debunking the myth of selfish, the phrase “it’s not about you” and WHY YOU SHOULD start living for yourself!

Recently I’ve received a lot of messages asking me about my life, how I travel so much, how come I look "radiant" and "full of life." Interesting questions, to say the least. Also, the answer may not be what you want to hear or expecting.

Firstly, I'm not always happy and full of life. I have a ton of ups and downs, get triggered all the time thanks to my traumatic childhood and have to constantly talk myself out of an impending depression spiral.

But, what I have done to mitigate an impending mental crisis and create joy in my life is being so selfishly focused on myself and what I want, that I literally have no time to focus on others. This includes unfollowing all political accounts (programming to keep you mad and divided), and separating myself from groups/people that made me react in any way other than a smile.

I then use that time to fill it with things I love to do/always wanted to do but never did (mostly because I talked myself out of it by telling myself I’m too “old” to get started). This includes travel, working with horses, painting, gardening, pole dancing, yoga, naked hiking, exploring new lakes/towns, cooking, reading, writing, and more. When I also fit my actual job in there, I then have a full and fulfilling day that keeps me so busy I don't have time to get offended by the latest political party drama or any other crap that literally has no control over my life if I don't let it.

I understand that we all have different lives and not everyone can up and travel when they want, including myself. But exposing yourself to things that upset you is a choice. Not doing something because you’re scared to is a choice. Being offended is a choice. Being critical is a choice. Feeding your anger by reading things that offend you is 100% a choice. Being happy...Also a choice.

Happy people do not judge or criticize others. Full stop. I know this firsthand because was the most judgiest critical person ever. Like ever. Until I finally acknowledged it's just cause I wasn't happy in my own life.

When I realized the only person suffering from my anger was me, I decided to stop drinking the poison and waiting for others to die, take the antidote and move on with my life. And that's when things shifted. I formed better connections with others, and opened myself to more experience, in turn allowing myself to feel more joy, freedom, peace, love... This is to be full of life.

Now if I find myself critiquing or judging someone, I step back and think what's going on in my life that I'm unhappy with and how can I fix that. It takes some self reflection and a good hard look at yourself, but once you find the thing that’s holding you back, you can fix it, and move on with your life.

So stop following the people who make you mad, stop allowing everyone else to tell you what to think, how to act, what to be mad at and how to live. Live for yourself because guess what... contrary to what you've been told your whole life about it not being about you, well, surprise….it IS about you.

The healing power of water

Delving into the enriching experience of nature’s medicine

During my 6 month drive around the USA, I swam in lakes, rivers and waterfalls nearly every day, and every time I did, I felt that a part of me healed, both physically and spiritually.

When I realized how much my body craved water, and how much of a tolerance I built to swimming in icy cold 50 degree glacier water, I knew the hype was true about cold plunges and the healing powers of water.

A study by the University of Oregon found that brief 15 minute hot water baths benefit arthritis, lowers blood pressure, relieves muscle spasms, cramps, internal congestion and relaxes the body.

Brief cold water baths, about 3 minutes or less have positive effects like lowering extreme fever from disease or heart attack, and increasing energy level. A cold water bath also stimulates the body, promotes resistance to disease and increases vitality.

Water has a unique ability to lift our spirits by restoring and refreshing the mind and body, but it goes deeper. Surfers and sailors are say there is something spiritual about being out on the water. The tranquil sounds of moving water and the beauty and serenity of bodies of water are compelling reasons to leave your other thoughts and worries behind.

Flowing water has a calming effect on people because of the soothing sound of rushing water which can be meditative and calming.

Water’s healing capacity as a medical treatment is well-documented historically. Hippocrates, known as the father of modern medicine, stated that "nature should be used to heal the body”. He was a strong advocate of baths as medical treatment nearly 2500 years ago. Spas and bathhouse were initially created as places of healing and cleansing, then later became the social gatherings they are today.

Bath houses or spas offered a variety of healing options like hot or cold water baths, sea or mineral water treatments, showers, steam and sauna rooms, or exercise and therapy in the waters. Many of the illnesses and injuries from ancient times were cured or assuaged with ‘the waters.’

Water cures have fallen out of favor in recent centuries, but there is a reason people feel so connected to water. It's still there, it hasn't lost its healing powers, and it's available to us whenever we want.

Everything we need to heal ours, nature has already given us. We just gotta get out and see for ourselves ✨🧚🌿🌊💧💦

What others say about you is not your business

Yes, we’ve heard it before. And no, I don’t think it ever resonated until my recent experience.

If you have a story you know you’re meant to tell, do it, regardless of the criticism.

In the past I’ve criticized others for speaking out. It’s because I knew I wanted to as well, but I wasn't ready yet. When I saw others have the bravery to do it, even though I didn’t necessarily agree with them, I criticized instead. But it was jealousy, plain and simple.

We are all on the same side, there is room for everyone to have a voice. No one person has on the monopoly on any story, niche, or background. I think it’s important to hear so many sides of one event!

Those who are brave enough to come forward with their story risk losing friends, family, and loved ones. I know I will support anyone else who chooses this same path.

Maya Angelou said if you’re looking for rainbows but all you see are clouds, remember that thunderstorms will always run out of rain.

“Take whatever you can from those who came before you. Those are the rainbows in your clouds. Remember If you are searching for rainbows at all you see is clouds just keep going. You will always find rainbows again.”

That’s what I did and it made all the difference 💜💜✨✨

Animals teach us so much!

“Until one has love an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” — Anatole France

Hands down the greatest joy in my life and during this trip is experiencing it with Franklin. This little guy has taught me so much about joy, unconditional love, strength and resilience. He is the light of my life and the best dog I could have ever hoped for.

Franklin has multiple medical issues stemming from his eye injury (cause is unknown as he was brought to the shelter as a stray & already injured) including breathing problems, one eye and a cracked skull, but he doesn't let any of that crap hold him back. He goes on every crazy hike with me and follows me around (albeit begrudgingly at times) when I pull over to the side of the road AGAIN to snap a random photo.

He truly is the embodiment of what it means to be alive and live life every moment to the fullest.

I've been dealing with multiple personal issues in my life and he is there for me every step of the way, reminding me that no matter what happens you can still live and love life. Everything comes, and everything goes. What matters is how you react to it and this guy doesn't let anything affect him.

Thank you for going on this journey of life with me, Franklin, and this quite literal journey across the country. Thank you for dealing with my crazy hikes, forest walks, waterfall swims, countless photo shoots, loud singing in the car and solo cries on our drives when I need to get something out. I'm so glad we found each other five years ago at the @austinpetsalive animal shelter in Austin.

Animals truly are perfect therapy companions to help you heal, provide comfort and joy to those who need it. They also teach you the cycle of life. How life is precious. Animals come to this earth, they are a blessing to us, we connect with them, we bond with them, and most of the time, they leave this earth before we do. And all we are left with are the memories, experiences, and lessons they left with us on this earth.

I’ve been around animals my entire life, and I’m so glad I was raised in an environment close to nature, surrounded by mountains, trees, and all kinds of wildlife. It truly made me appreciate, respect, and learn from the nature around me, wherever I am.