When is it the right time to speak up?

How to know if you should speak up when others tell you to, or when you feel like it

Recently I took some time off social media recently, to connect with myself, be present and alone to contemplate what I want to accomplish & who I want to be in this year.

I didn't make any grand announcement about going offline because, let's be honest, we're so wrapped up in our own stories and portrayal of how we come across online that do we even notice when someone is offline for a week? 😆😂

This break is something I will be doing monthly as I always treat Social Media differently after--more aware of the time I spend scrolling & the content I'm consuming.

I heard of a lot of things going on in Social Media while I was off. Riots, protests, more political drama, dare I say…the usual fear mongering crap. I saw yet again, many friends divided. People saying you should speak up and say something about this particular issue that is close to their hearts, but then when another issue happened that was just a serious, they didn’t say a word. Because…it was not an important issue to them.

This made me think of the contradictions so many of us get wrapped up in. People getting so up in arms about a topic in social media, yet quiet about others. When you’re an observer in these crazy times, it’s really incredible to see how similar both sides are, and how each side is essentially accusing the other of the exact same thing, just in a different way.

The bottom line is, no one should be pressured to speak up about anything. If it feels true to you, and something that is important to you, then by all means, speak up. But do not expect everyone else to jump on your soapbox. And definitely do not threaten your friends and family or shame them into speaking up as well! It’s incredible that in 2023 this is still happening. Haven’t we learned anything from 2020 and 2021?

I will give you an example from my own life:

My personal life and spiritual practice is very important and private to me. It’s something share with a few people, but really no more than 2 or 3. I used to feel pressured to share everything on social media like others did, but it never felt authentic to me. What happened was a blabbering mess of words coming out and very inauthentic claims and stories, that now looking back I cringe at. And deleted. It was never me, and I should have never been swayed or pushed into sharing things I was going through when I was not ready.

In the past year I've learned so much more about who I am, what I'm about, what I'm comfortable sharing and not sharing. My life in general is very public, so having some privacy is important. This includes things I’m going through, my spiritual practice, and personal life. And I will certainly not speak out on political topics just because everyone else is.

Remember that you should never feel pressured to share things or "speak up" because others are. That's their choice, not yours. It doesn't matter what others are talking about or the memes you see (if you're not x then you're x) ✋. Follow your intuition, share what is meaningful and feels good to you. Don't let others shame or force you into anything different. This was the biggest realization (and relief) for me in the past year and I hope it helps you too.

Thank you all for your support and follows! Here's to another beautiful year of ups, downs, heart healing, heart breaks, adventures, stability, growth, and rest, as we continue to evolve into the souls we're meant to be. 💜🧚✨

Do I stay or do I go?

How to deal with the post travel blues

When I got back from my 6 month trip around the USA, I found myself in strange space mentally. Overall it was an incredible trip, but towards the end, I also felt incredibly lonely. I ended up making a detour in California to visit family because I longed for the connection and comfort of familiar faces.

When I got back to Texas, I felt torn. At times I longed for the solitude, stillness and peace of nature, yet other times I was so glad to be back around my friends and family, as six months on the road was a long time for me to be away by myself.

During my time of transition I focused on slowing down, tried to be more in the moment, and enjoy my downtime and the simple things in life. I focused on connected with my family and friends, and getting back to the simple things in life I missed on the road like going to the gym, sitting in the sauna, or cooking a fancy meal.

I also focused on movement. Whether that was exercising, dancing, taking a walk, running, yoga, swimming, or anything in between. Movement helped clear those feeling of sadness and “what’s next”, and allowed me to slow down and enjoy my life in the present more.

There are all kinds of things we can do for the post travel blues, but for me, taking it day by day, getting back to the simple things that bring you joy in your life, and moving your body was so key for me. I needed to get back to cooking healthy meals for myself every day. I needed to keep moving my body and walking and hiking just like I did every day on my trip for 6 months. I needed to sit in the sauna and do cold plunges to shock my body just like I did on my trip swimming in glacier lakes. All this and more helped me get over my travel blues and back to a state of being happy in the present.

I don’t know what the future holds for me. I have no idea where I’ll be living in a couple months or what I’ll be doing. All I know is that this is the life I wanted, with the freedom to be able to get up and go whenever I feel like and choose my destination whenever I want. It definitely isn’t easy, but it’s exciting to know that this is the exact life I wanted for myself. Now I just need to trust that everything will work out exactly as it's meant to.

Until then, I remain in Texas, happy in the warmth of its winters, close to all that is familiar and everyone I hold dear.

The sacred site of Big Horn Medicine Wheel

My experience visiting one of the most sacred sites in the USA

On my last day in Wyoming was I able to visit the Big Horn Medicine wheel, an ancient Native American spiritual site where tribal ceremonial activity continues to this day. In fact, when I arrived a Sundance was going on at the site, so us non-Native Americans waited respectfully at the bottom of the hill until the ceremony was complete.

The Medicine Wheel has been a National Historic Landmark since 1970 due to its unique scientific research values. It's surrounded by 4,080 protected acres, used only for Native American cultures and practices.

The Bighorn Medicine Wheel is one of the largest and best preserved on the northern and northwestern Plains. It was the first medicine wheel to be mentioned in popular literature and the first to be studied by the professional scientific community.

Archeologists generally believe that the Medicine Wheel is a late prehistoric composite feature. A wood sample from one of the cairns at the site was dated to approximately 1760 A.D. by means of tree-ring dating. There are bone fragments, jewelry and fabric that have been left there over the centuries.

When I entered the site I was immediately overcome by the sacred space and the incredible ancestry and spirits that inhabited the land. Many leaders of various Native American tribes go there to pay to their respects to their ancestors, work with energy and connect to the earth. I definitely felt that being there.

I also met a man there who had traveled from across the country to bring gifts to the site from other Native American tribes that could not make the journey. It was incredible to know that while this Medicine Wheel may not be known to everyone, it certainly is throughout the tribes, and I’m so glad it’s preserved as a sacred space for those whose families have roamed the land so much longer than any of us.

It was an incredible honor to visit this sacred place and pay my respects to the spirits of this land, the people and culture whose lives were forever altered when the Pilgrims set foot here.

Why is it so hard to be happy?

Do you know why it’s hard to be happy? The answer may surprise you

"Do you know why it's so hard to be happy? Because we refuse to let go of the things that make us sad." -- Lupitha Herman

If you're seeing repeating negative patterns in your life, it's because you're hanging onto them. These patterns reinforce the negative beliefs and stories you have about yourself, making it easier to blame your issues on external circumstances, rather than taking responsibility & making changes in your life.

In the book Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton, he says those who've suffered from trauma tend to hang onto fears and stressful memories as a protection mechanism. While not all stress is bad, when our bodies become chronically stimulated by a stress response like sadness, depression, or daily stress, it compromises our health and changes our brain chemistry, resulting in a constant state of fight or flight.

My body was hardwired for stress. I've suffered from chronic stress for years from my childhood growing up in the Children of God cult, constantly in fear from punishment & abuse. This led to severe health issues and chronic anxiety in my adult life.

These days I have to constantly check in with my body as to whether I'm back under my chronic stress pattern. and if so, slowly let go of whatever put me back in that state.

Becoming aware of stress forces me to become aware of what I allow to affect me in life. Usually the things that affect me are things I'm not willing to let go of, in order to continue making excuses for myself, for whatever reason and whatever capacity.

I've had to let go of a lot of stories in my life to find internal peace and happiness. Every time I do, I progress to first understanding what happiness is (hint: it’s not what I initially thought or felt), start feeling that happiness, which leads me to feeling freer, at peace, and most of all without the need to judge, criticize, or put others down to make me feel better.

The key is letting go of your old stories. The things you are hanging on to, that you are addicted to. The excuses, the buts, everything. You have them because they served you once, but not anymore. They may have protected you in the past, but now they're only holding you back.

Those repeating patterns, the chronic state of unhappiness, stress, and annoyance, that's all there because you're allowing it to be there. Once you let go of the things that are making you sad, you'll realize that the only person keeping you trapped in the same vicious cycle, was yourself.

How is this my life?

When you start healing, anything is possible

Sometimes I see photos like this and I'm like, "how is this my life?" Then I remembered that I made this shit happen! Sure, traveling alone in my card for 6 months can be hard, lonely at times, has its ups and downs and for sure way more expensive than anticipated, but the reward I get in experiencing sights like this daily is incomparable and totally worth it!

I wouldn’t trade my travel experiences for anything in the world. I’ve said no to a lot of things this year and left a lot of people/relationships behind in order to put my dream and desires first. Traveling the world but especially exploring this beautiful country has been something I’ve wanted to do for so long, so I stopped waiting and made it happen.

So far the outcome has been totally worth it and I would do this over and over if given the chance. Do not trade your dreams for anyone or anything. Put yourself first. It always pays off and you will never regret it.

It IS about you!

Debunking the myth of selfish, the phrase “it’s not about you” and WHY YOU SHOULD start living for yourself!

Recently I’ve received a lot of messages asking me about my life, how I travel so much, how come I look "radiant" and "full of life." Interesting questions, to say the least. Also, the answer may not be what you want to hear or expecting.

Firstly, I'm not always happy and full of life. I have a ton of ups and downs, get triggered all the time thanks to my traumatic childhood and have to constantly talk myself out of an impending depression spiral.

But, what I have done to mitigate an impending mental crisis and create joy in my life is being so selfishly focused on myself and what I want, that I literally have no time to focus on others. This includes unfollowing all political accounts (programming to keep you mad and divided), and separating myself from groups/people that made me react in any way other than a smile.

I then use that time to fill it with things I love to do/always wanted to do but never did (mostly because I talked myself out of it by telling myself I’m too “old” to get started). This includes travel, working with horses, painting, gardening, pole dancing, yoga, naked hiking, exploring new lakes/towns, cooking, reading, writing, and more. When I also fit my actual job in there, I then have a full and fulfilling day that keeps me so busy I don't have time to get offended by the latest political party drama or any other crap that literally has no control over my life if I don't let it.

I understand that we all have different lives and not everyone can up and travel when they want, including myself. But exposing yourself to things that upset you is a choice. Not doing something because you’re scared to is a choice. Being offended is a choice. Being critical is a choice. Feeding your anger by reading things that offend you is 100% a choice. Being happy...Also a choice.

Happy people do not judge or criticize others. Full stop. I know this firsthand because was the most judgiest critical person ever. Like ever. Until I finally acknowledged it's just cause I wasn't happy in my own life.

When I realized the only person suffering from my anger was me, I decided to stop drinking the poison and waiting for others to die, take the antidote and move on with my life. And that's when things shifted. I formed better connections with others, and opened myself to more experience, in turn allowing myself to feel more joy, freedom, peace, love... This is to be full of life.

Now if I find myself critiquing or judging someone, I step back and think what's going on in my life that I'm unhappy with and how can I fix that. It takes some self reflection and a good hard look at yourself, but once you find the thing that’s holding you back, you can fix it, and move on with your life.

So stop following the people who make you mad, stop allowing everyone else to tell you what to think, how to act, what to be mad at and how to live. Live for yourself because guess what... contrary to what you've been told your whole life about it not being about you, well, surprise….it IS about you.